12/22/20

Exclusive Interview Nancy Pelosi II

We were minding our own business when a call came in: “Standby, Big Red Car, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, the one and only Nancy D’Alesandro Pelosi, would like a word with you. Let me warn you, she’s drunk with victory.”

In the background, I could hear the woman who called me saying, “Your Highness, I have that annoying Big Red Car for you.”

“Hello, Madame Speaker, what an unexpected pleasure,” I said.

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12/14/20

The Nightmare Recedes

As I write, Americans are being vaccinated against the COVID19 virus within the same zip code in which I sit. It began four hours ago.

For some reason it reminds me of D-Day, the radio reports wherein our countrymen listened with anticipation:

“This morning, under the command of General Eisenhower, Allied naval forces supported by strong air forces began landing Allied armies on the northern coast of France.”

Within five days, more than 326,000 Allied troops would have landed with more than 100,000 tons of equipment and Paris would be liberated two and a half months later with the Germans destroyed within a year.

I wish the same fate to COVID.

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12/5/20

A Letter to Joe Biden In Regard to Vaccine Distribution

Don’t be a baby, get the shot.

Dear Joe:

I hope this note finds everything well for you and yours. I keep watching you saying there is no “plan” to inoculate the country with the soon-to-be approved vaccine for COVID.

I thought I would share with you what I have learned doing minimal research on the Internet because, apparently, there is a plan.

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12/4/20

Planning In The Age Of COVID

If you are the CEO of a startup or small business, the months of November and December are when you must be planning what you will make happen in CY 2021 — and, yes, there will be a Calendar Year 2021 whether you plan for it or not.

You should be following a discipline something like this:

Review 2020 performance — review and discuss with your senior folks with an eye toward segregating the loser from the winners, the saints from the sinners

Based on 2020 performance, create your 2021 plan with input from your senior folks

After a careful review, publish the “preliminary” plan and sit down with your Board to get feedback

Revise the plan

Publish the plan

Brief the plan to the company and get buy in

This can take two weeks or six weeks. It should be started in November, finished in December, and published before Christmas. 

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12/3/20

COVID Exposes The Weaknesses

Business environments are impacted by laws, regulation, and leadership. This happens at the state level.

The business environment in, say, New York and California is different than the business environment in Texas.

COVID and the pressure upon Governors — the CEOs of their states — to steward the business environment in their states whilst simultaneously dealing with the pandemic has accentuated differences in state leadership and regulation.

These differences have triggered meaningful mobility amongst companies and investors.

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11/18/20

The Vaccines Are Coming At Warp Speed

We have been greeted with good news of late — two vaccines, both built on an mRNA model, meaning an engineered solution rather than a dead vaccine model — will apply shortly for an Emergency Use Authorization from the Food and Drug Agency based on the successful completion of Phase 3, large scale (44,000 persons) trials and the attendant data with both showing an efficacy rate of 95%.

Efficacy rates, Big Red Car?

To put that 95% number into perspective, know that the common flu vaccine has an efficacy rate of 40-60% — meaning it shelters 40-60% of Americans who receive the shot from the flu.

So, the 95% efficacy rate for the engineered model is quite extraordinary.

American health officials required a 50% efficacy rate, had hoped for 60-70%, and are deliriously happy at 95%.

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08/18/20

College Basketball — Carolina Tar Heels v Duke Blue Devils — A Modest Proposal

If you are like me, you are still wondering when the 2019-2020 NCAA Tournament, March Madness, is going to start.

Alas, we are well and truly fucked, amigo. It is never going to happen. Which brings me to the quandary of what to do with college basketball come November.

So, I make bold to make a modest proposal. Read to the end before you judge me. Keep an open mind.

The Modest Proposal

I propose that in order to avoid any COVID infection risk, rivalry schools, like the Carolina Tar Heels and the Duke Blue Devils, enter into a series of games which will approximate their season whilst mining the enthusiasm of these critical rivalries and providing loyal fans with the necessary juju and mojo they need to stabilize their lives.

It goes without saying that it will be a welcome diversion from the COVID.

Somebody may make a buck along the way, but, hey, that’s capitalism, right?

 1. The Carolina v Duke rivalry in basketball is the gold standard by which all other rivalries are measured.

Carolina, a public school founded in 1789, and Duke, a private school founded in 1838, have played each other in the noble contest of basketball for a century this year. First game was 1920, UNC 38 – Duke 25.

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08/1/20

COVID19 Divorce

It is 2 August 2020 and I report to you that I am getting a divorce. Do not beg me to reconsider.  My mind is set.

COVID19 (actually COVID16 because it was a mild case) came into my life in early July with a seductive appeal that left me hot and bothered, unable to sleep whilst thinking of her, that funny butterfly feeling a new love puts in your gut, my body ached for her, she wracked my body with chills when I was with her, and a head ache.

She was beguiling and I fell into her spell. She is a unwavering temptress without equal who will come upon you without warning.

I had every symptom, except for the loss of taste. I never had any taste to begin with.

I threw in with her. I promised to pay attention. At first, she was a passionate partner, but then things began to deteriorate. COVID began to keep company with others. I stayed home and she went out. Every night.

Which brings to me to the real news. We are getting a divorce. I’ve had a few clear headed days while she has been tramping around to think about it and I have decided it just won’t work.

I don’t get that same feverish feeling when I think about her. My bowels are steady, my stomach is settled, I no longer ache for her. I am not having any problem sleeping.

It’s time to face the music. It was a good run, but we’re just not suited for each other. I have to admit it was all a physical relationship. I never respected her and I think the slut just used me for her own purposes.

It may sound like it’s me kicking her to the curb, but it’s a mutual thing. I could be a gentleman and wish her well, but to be honest, I hope she dies a lonely, quiet, desperate death, and is eradicated from the earth itself. I would threaten to piss on her grave, but I hate lines.

The divorce is final as of 2 August 2020 and I am very grateful that I have finally realized that she is no good for me.

Be well, my friends. Don’t make the mistake I made and keep company with this tramp. As the sage Linda Ronstadt said, “She’s no good, she’s no good, she’s no good, she’s no good for you.” Trust me on this one.