Manhole v Personhole v Maintenance Hole

I have been on a journey of discovery. For a year I have struggled — admittedly unsuccessfully — with how to confront an increasingly more troubling, harsher, complex world.

This week, the Berkeley, California, City Council showed me the light when they renamed MANHOLES as MAINTENANCE HOLES, thereby driving off the offensive stank and horrific gender-biased nomenclature of such things. Hurrah!

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It is with a light heart I now face life, secure in the knowledge that I and millions of others will no longer have to confront the indignity of improperly identified, gender-shamed public facilities.

MANHOLES are dead.


Join me in celebrating the righting of this ghastly indignity. There are those who will make light of this momentous event. Some will suggest it is insignificant. Not I.

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Do you understand why so many people and companies from California are moving to Texas? Texas is a state where our men and manholes are MANLY. Where our women are womanly and beautiful. Where we know the difference and are focused on important stuff — like no income taxes.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. If you are from Berkeley, California — this is what your leaders are doing. This what your taxes are supporting. No bull. Good day.