It is 2 August 2020 and I report to you that I am getting a divorce. Do not beg me to reconsider. My mind is set.
COVID19 (actually COVID16 because it was a mild case) came into my life in early July with a seductive appeal that left me hot and bothered, unable to sleep whilst thinking of her, that funny butterfly feeling a new love puts in your gut, my body ached for her, she wracked my body with chills when I was with her, and a head ache.
She was beguiling and I fell into her spell. She is a unwavering temptress without equal who will come upon you without warning.
I had every symptom, except for the loss of taste. I never had any taste to begin with.
I threw in with her. I promised to pay attention. At first, she was a passionate partner, but then things began to deteriorate. COVID began to keep company with others. I stayed home and she went out. Every night.
Which brings to me to the real news. We are getting a divorce. I’ve had a few clear headed days while she has been tramping around to think about it and I have decided it just won’t work.
I don’t get that same feverish feeling when I think about her. My bowels are steady, my stomach is settled, I no longer ache for her. I am not having any problem sleeping.
It’s time to face the music. It was a good run, but we’re just not suited for each other. I have to admit it was all a physical relationship. I never respected her and I think the slut just used me for her own purposes.
It may sound like it’s me kicking her to the curb, but it’s a mutual thing. I could be a gentleman and wish her well, but to be honest, I hope she dies a lonely, quiet, desperate death, and is eradicated from the earth itself. I would threaten to piss on her grave, but I hate lines.
The divorce is final as of 2 August 2020 and I am very grateful that I have finally realized that she is no good for me.
Be well, my friends. Don’t make the mistake I made and keep company with this tramp. As the sage Linda Ronstadt said, “She’s no good, she’s no good, she’s no good, she’s no good for you.” Trust me on this one.