Mandatory Dancing Lessons in Trump’s America

Big Red Car here on the day after the end of an error and the beginning of an era. I hope you enjoyed the Inauguration ceremony. It was quite an event. Today, we talk dancing.

One thing is worthy of note in Trump’s America — there will have to be mandatory dancing lessons and it has to start with President Donald J Trump. Sorry, Mr. President, but a dancer you are not.

Melania Inaugural Ball dress

So, when your wife looks like this, you should take some dancing lessons, no? Please?

I know we hired you to be President and not a dancing gigolo, but still, sir, you failed to meet expectations. Just a friendly word from your biggest 1966 Impala Super Sport convertible supporter.

I know there were a lot of details to be handled with the transition and all that. And, I know you have more important things to worry about now that you’re actually the President; but, sir, you, well, you just don’t have it. You looked like a junior high kid who had a lovely girl say “yes” to the dance invitation when you didn’t expect it.

Dancing is vertical foreplay, Mr. President. Does that help?

While I’m taking you to task, sir, I’d like to suggest you go for the family discount. The rest of the Tribe Trump can’t shake a leg either. It’s not like they’re not athletic enough, sir. They just can’t dance. What is up with that?

Please take this the way it is intended — in good fun. I thought your speech was good. Others said it was “dark,” but they would have said that regardless of what you said.

I particularly liked how you gave the four assembled Presidents the Wet Willie over their not taking the interests of the American people into consideration and how Washington, DC wins even when the rest of the country loses. [When has there ever been a recession in DC? Really? Like never.] It’s sort of charming to watch you speak truth to power. Well played, sir.

Please get some dancing lessons.


Melania inauguration outfit

As your First Lady, I will work on the President to take dancing lessons. I can usually convince him to do the right thing. He’s so stubborn sometimes, but I will work on him. Thank you, America. I hate to be ungrateful, but the house is a little small though the grounds are very nice.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Thanks for being willing to undertake the whole “draining the swamp” thing, Mr. President. It needs a damn good flushing and you’re the man to do it. On second thought, screw the dancing lessons. Drain the swamp!cropped-LTFD-illust_300.png

5 thoughts on “Mandatory Dancing Lessons in Trump’s America

  1. An “era”? I believe and certainly hope so.

    An “error” you call it? An error was the time I dropped an egg on the floor. The last eight years were a horrendous, multi-trillion dollar catastrophe, and in the election we came far too close to maybe permanently ruining the US with the nasty, lying, crooked, national security and foreign policy disaster second place one who shall not be named, maybe never named again.

    Yes, mostly I watched Melania: Why? I don’t want to see her hurt. The risk? Recently Newt Gingrich called the election sublimated civil war, and to me that begins to explain much of what we saw for the past 17 months or so.

    For the horrendous catastrophe of the last 8 years, that was another serious war where, to quote a recent Gingrich remark on Hannity, the adversary did as much damage to the US as he could.

    Melania looked, acted just terrific. The Donald picked very well, and now the US can be very proud.

    On dancing, yes, I noticed that — sad situation. It was so embarrassing I couldn’t watch it and turned away. Of course, the music wasn’t very good for dancing.

    The US used to know how to dance. Gee, can get good at the waltz in about an hour. That part of US culture has gone downhill, along with much more.

    So, Don and Melania could have practiced the waltz for about an hour. Then would need for the orchestra to play some danceable waltz music. How about

    R. Strauss, The Blue Danube, Vienna Philharnonic Orchestra.


    For more, there is the Hector Berlioz sparkling orchestration of the Carl Maria von Weber

    Aufforderung zum Tanz


    Invitation to the Dance


    There is an old USA sweetheart version by Deanna Durbin from a movie at

    which immediately is danceable!

    And there is the Tchaikovsky, Waltz of the Flowers


    This just in! At


    My top 10 favorite waltz

    The second one there, right, another J. Strauss, would have been good for dancing.

    But, wait, there is more:

    As Donald was walking down the steps of the Capitol site of the swearing in at the inauguration, they could have played, say, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy, say, from Australia as at

    or starting at, say, 3:58 at

    or starting at

    7:08 at

    or with an orchestra in Japan with a choir filling a large sports stadium as at

    Or, when Donald and Melania entered the Lincoln Memorial on Thursday, play, say, the

    R. Wagner, “Entry of the Gods Into Valhalla,” Das Rheingold,

    e.g., as at

    Or, Donald and Melania could have arrived at the Thursday concert by boat down the Potomac with the music

    Richard Wagner, “Dawn and Siegfried’s Rhine Journey,” from Götterdämmerung.

    as at

    and have Donald and Melania step off the boat at about 3:00.

    Ah, the last two uses of music would have been a bit much, especially since Trump is aiming strongly, as he very much should in our democracy, at the unemployed in the fly over states.

    The inauguration could also have made use of some of the sections of

    Richard Strauss, Ein Heldenleben.

    e.g., by von Karajan as at

    In the third section the guy courts and wins the girl, played by the violin, maybe sounds some like Melania did when Don was courting her, as at

    In the fourth section is his battle with his enemies, e.g., as at

    So, the enemies? NYT? HRC? BHO?

    At the end, at about 8:00 to the end of the section, is the victory music, some of the best victory music!

    So, play the victory music as the helicopter with the previous POTUS, he who is not to be named, takes off.

    The rest is works of peace, e.g., Trump as POTUS and later with just his family.

    Gee, Melania is from Europe, so why not a lot of music from there? But, sure, instead of just Europe, somewhere they might have played

    Aaron Copeland, “Hoedown,” Appalachian Spring,

    as at

    Gee, Don and Melania could have learned to have danced at that!

    Or, sure,

    “Simple Gifts” at

    with a very careful performance of the full piece at

    Sure, somewhere, nearly anywhere,

    Aaron Copland, Fanfare For The Common Man.

    as at

    But, Trump was fully correct: There was plenty of celebration, and the main thing to do was to get to work.

    For me, got most of the unpredictable exogenous interruptions beaten back, and hope next week to order the parts for my first server computer. Should be a nice computer — 8 core 64 bit processor at 4.0 GHz with 32 GB of ECC main memory with three hard disks at about 2 TB each.

  2. Was saying last night to my wife how Melania’s height complements the President so well. Can you imagine if
    she was only 5’3? Was also surprised at how much weight Michelle gained…

  3. Dancing lessons: my wife said the same thing…for the whole Trump collection. VMI in the inaugural parade -> very impressive, moving. Well done.

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