Hillary2020 — She’s In

Nice day in the ATX, y’all. meaning everything is good in Texas except for the weather.

So, your Big Red Car is here with the hot, big news: Hillary Clinton is throwing her hat into the ring and the ring is not going to throw it back.

That’s right. Hillary is in it to win it.

Fooled you once, shame on you. Fooled you twice shame on me. “I’m in, baby!”

Hillary2020? How did this happen, Big Red Car?

Here’s the decision matrix that Hillary used to make her fateful decision.

 1. The Dems have nobody else. You have Quid Pro Joe who can’t swing the endorsement of his former boss, President Barack Obama.

That has to hurt, no? Also, fundraising isn’t working. Can’t swing an endorsement from The Squad or Beto.

 2. The rest of the field is too far left to have a chance at the win.

Hillary — a political chameleon if ever there was one — doesn’t think the addition of Sen Bernie Sanders (geriatric 800-year-old dinosaur with a bum ticker) to The Squad gets you any traction with folks who live in the real world.

 3. She has a ready made organization with campaign experience. The second she winks, they quit all their jobs and come running, shouting, “I’m with HER!”

This also devastates the campaigns they leave.

 4. Fundraising? She has a base of fundraisers and donors who will crack open their pocketbooks a second after they get that first email.

 5. Did I mention plain old fashioned name ID? Well, Hillary has it.

 6. She wants another crack at Donald J Trump and is not intimidated by any of that “incumbent” advantage nonsense.

 7. She likes her motto: “I beat him once; I can beat him again!”

 8. The whole Jeffrey Epstein – Bill Clinton sexual predator issue has calmed down ever since Jeffrey Epstein got suicided.

 9. The only way to re-invigorate the Clinton Foundation (whose donations have dried up to zero) is to get back into the influence peddling game.

 10. She’s bored. She wrote a book, made some money, has been throwing rocks from the sidelines, and she’s just flat bored. The Hill needs the juice of a national campaign.

Face it, she’s a junkie in a good kind of way.

 11. The media still love her. Every time she burps, they write a laudatory article about her.

She told the media that Tulsi Gabbard was a freakin’ Russian asset and they printed that crap.

 12. She has spoken to Putin and he’s all in. Says she should consider a Dossier II approach.

 13. The big one, the last one, TOTAL EMAIL VINDICATION. Not sure about this, but that’s what she said.

 14. Last one, I promise. The Deep State is with her. Deeper than ever. More stately. Plus, their running out of ways to bang President Trump around. Can’t find a whistleblower with a bribe these days.

Are you sure, Big Red Car?

Well, dear reader, I heard it from a friend of my barber, who went to school with a guy who drives for Uber (and Lyft, but only on weekends), who had a passenger who left a notebook in his car with a note written in Ukrainian, told Alex Jones, who researched it and found a massage therapist who works the Hillary gig — what the New York Times would call “a reliable source who requests anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter.”

So, yeah, take it to the bank, Hillary2020 is a real deal.

Also, I heard a tee shirt company got a huge order. Plus, Koozies.

Who else could do it, but for Hillary?

Well, that is the bottom line, isn’t it?

The big thing is this — nobody thinks any of the current Dems (collectively being called The Gnomes by their friends) can beat President Donald J Trump.

That Donald J — they Russia colluded him, Muellered him, obstruction of justice pivoted on the old boy, threw the Dossier at him (Hell the DNC and the Hillary campaign paid for it), FISA warranted him, warmongered him, pulled out too soon from war-ed him, Whistlebritches-ed him, faux impeached him, couldn’t find a damn crime though they looked — is like the Evinrude Bunny, just keeps motoring along. Only Hillary can put the quietus on the old boy.

The smart money (which isn’t finding its way to Quid Pro Joe’s coffers) is on Hillary stepping up in the next 30 days. She wants to get a couple of spa weeks in before making it official, but she’s already working the phones.

So, there you have it. CONFIRMED. Hillary is in it to win it. Well, sort of.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Got to run, I just got a text from Hillary2020. They want money.