Why The Democrats Got Shellacked in the Mid-term Election Explained

In much the same way that Putin publishes the results of his elections a couple of days before Election Day, I will now, right here, reveal what the media and pundits will say on the backward looking shows on Wednesday morning after the Dems drown in a RED WAVE.

“Suburban women abandoned the Dems over pocketbook issues like inflation and the economy.”

“The Dems went all in on abortion and mothers – suburban moms – did not rally around that flag as well as the idea their girls should share a locker room with some scrotum confused guy just because he felt like a woman one day. Huge turnout and tidal wave against the Dems. No mystery. Saw it coming a mile away.”

“Hispanics continue their betrayal of the Dems and voted Republican over the economy, immigration, jobs, crime, and abortion. Turns out they are very tough on abortion – that Catholic Church effect.”

“Supposedly undecided independents, every single senior, voted against Joe Biden’s insane war on energy. Watching their retirement accounts evaporate set the hook and gas prices reeled them in.”

“Crime – turns out defunding the police, re-thinking law enforcement, and cashless bail were not popular in cities far and wide. Dems thought the public wasn’t following the skyrocketing murder rate? Not so.”

“A great number of folks saw the Dems as the personification of Joe Biden and they think he is incompetently marshalling the United States toward a nuclear war with Russia over Ukraine. Nuclear war over Ukraine turns out to be wildly unpopular.”

“Climate change – a Dem shibboleth – polled like a fart in a hurricane. Never saw this coming. Any Dem who championed this cause got slaughtered. Reality was the big winner yesterday.”

“Young women abandoned the Dems over the issue of penis-wielding transvestite dudes playing sports at the high school and collegiate level. They were silent until Election Day and put the hammer down for the Republicans. They voted their vaginas.”

There you have it folks. Now, you can sleep in on Wednesday morning until slightly after noon when Congressman McCarthy will try to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by announcing 1,000 days of new investigations of Dems as soon as he becomes the Shrillster of the House.

I could be wrong.

“Sheesh, boy did we get a West Texas barbed wire enema yesterday. Ouch.”