Why Not To Panic For Dummies –Wutang Flu

Peggy Noonan wrote a column today that is the piece-de-resistance of the intellectual panic in America today. As I read it, I laughed at her hyperbole and silliness.

Peggy Noonan Column ‘Don’t Panic Is Rotten Advice’

I suspect having been in the Army and having seen some really crazy stuff has anesthetized me a bit, but this is not the time to even use the word P A N I C.

Here’s why:

 1. We know who you are, Wutang Flu. We know who you are and we have a sequenced genome. We know you and our medical professionals know all about how you operate.

There is no ignorance as to who the Wutang Flu is. We have your number, Wutang.

 2. We have tests to detect, verify the Wutang Flu. We are rolling them out. The CDC and the two labs that produce such tests are operating at full tilt.

Just like in WWII when the US became the Arsenal of Democracy, American manufacturing will overwhelm you, Wutang Flu. We have your number and we are going to kick your ass.

 3. There are plenty of countries who are further down the road and they have peaked and the waters are receding. We know you can be beat, Wutang Flu.

The situation in China is improving dramatically. More than 70,000 people have been through the wringer and many have said it was a mild inconvenience.

 4. For 80% of Americans who get the infection, it will be a mild illness. Some will not even manifest any symptoms.

Worth noting that amongst the tests done so far, we are seeing fewer than 2% of people who are symptomatic actually have the Wutang Flu.

 5. We know that if you are elderly and have another serious condition — or you are younger and have another illness — you are in the danger zone just like you are for the seasonal flu.

But 80% of y’all will make it. Some of the current survivors are as old as their late 90s. When you are elderly, you are in constant danger of — dying. Getting old is not for wussies.

 6. Already Americans and others have survived the illness and have recovered. Like the flu — you get sick, you suffer, you get well, life goes on. [Next year, we will have a vaccine and a flu shot.]

 7. The impact on children is negligible. They get less sick and survive at high rates. Thank God!

 8. We know what to use — isopropyl  alcohol, ethanol, hydrogen peroxide, hydrogen hypochlorite (bleach) — to clean surfaces and kill you, Wutang Flu.

You are not going to wiggle in and hide. We are going to wipe you out.

 9. The entire medical community has your sorry ass in its target zone, Wutang Flu. Theses men and women have beaten Ebola, SARS, MERS, Zika, West Nile — and they will beat you like a rented mule.

Wutang Flu, you don’t stand a Chinaman’s chance (racist comment alert).

 10. There are more than a dozen vaccine initiatives underway. An American company had a model vaccine within three hours of receiving the sequenced genome from the Chinese.

We WILL have a vaccine and the administration’s willingness to slash regulations will shorten this time period.

 11. More than 80 clinics are testing anti-viral therapeutics. In many instances, these are fully approved drugs being tested for effectiveness against Wutang Flu.

 12. Walmart, Target, Walgreens, CVS are all lending parking lot space for the US to roll out drive-in testing facilities. This harnessing of the business community is going to have an enormous impact on fighting you, Wutang Flu.

Anybody not able to get to a Walmart? Or a CVS?

 13. The FDA, the CDC has powered through their regulations and have allowed companies such as Roche to deliver tests at light speed.

 14. The President has declared a National Emergency (Stafford Act) which releases $50B in immediate funding, but, most importantly, allows the government to shred regulations that might impede a quick, wartime response to the challenge.

So, if you are a genius or a dummy (like me), you have no reason to panic. We got this Wutang Flu thing. Stay tuned.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Wash your damn hands. Somebody get Peggy Noonan a foot massage.car