Russia, This Is Not A Flesh Wound

Dear Russia – not Vladimir Putin, but the Russian people,

Normally, I would begin by hoping things are going well for you in Russia, but we both know they are not.

As I am sure you are aware, your leaders invaded your peaceful neighbor Ukraine based on a nonsensical and moronic lie about Ukraine being a snakes’ den of neo-Nazis committing genocide against Russian speaking people in Ukraine and that you had no alternative other than to invade with more than 200,000 soldiers, missiles, rockets, tanks, artillery, and hypersonic missiles to accompany your thermobaric bombs — the ones that kill indiscriminately and are a war crime to use.

Of course, nobody of middling intelligence believes this Putin Propaganda. You are not a stupid people, but you have stupidly allowed evil people to run your country. That is on you, Russia.

You know exactly who the man in the $15K down parka is. He is the Butcher of Kyiv and he has led your nation to kill babies, children, mothers, women, and old persons. Your nation bombs hospitals and schools. That is now your dominant national character and the flavor of your culture.

Since then, your currency has become the financial equivalent of used toilet tissue, your stock market is closed, Russian companies whose shares trade in London have dropped by 98% which approximates the art value of paper shares, your foreign debt is in default, your corporate debt is double bunking with the foreign debt, inflation has exploded, and interest rates are more than doubled.

Russia, we are not even at the end of the beginning. It will get much worse. Your economy is 25% smaller than Italy’s and you are a gas station with a coal bin out back. You are so screwed. And, please God, it is going to get much worse. 

More than 400 companies have withdrawn — with all of their high paying excellent jobs — and you cannot buy an Apple iPhone or a McDonalds Big Mac. Your air fleet is no longer able to operate, you are cut off from replacement parts, and the auto industry is closed. You cannot buy an air ticket to anywhere.

This is in addition to the elimination of Amex, Visa, MasterCard, Apple Pay, Google Pay, and PayPal — 72% of all consumer transactions. You can thank the despot in the fancy down parka who is still enjoying life as the richest man in the world. He is not suffering while you are.

You are universally loathed as a pariah nation and you have united the world against you. #FuckRussia and #CrushRussia are trending on the social media you can no longer access because your leader cannot allow you to discover the truth of his cruelty and perfidy.

There are 15,000 dead Russian soldiers and 45,000 wounded young men who had nothing to fight about with your peaceful neighbor. Your leaders slaughtered these men, your fathers, brothers, husbands, and lovers. I hope you know they were killed by free men fighting for their homeland and that your lips will never again touch theirs. It was totally unnecessary.

If you are amongst the lucky, you will however get to bury them as unwitting victims of the guy in the fancy parka, but know the Russian military is unable to retrieve the bodies of your men and they will be left to the elements and the rats as their final resting place.

Grieve well, but know it was totally unnecessary and that your kinsmen were killed by better men fighting for freedom, something you have never really tasted.

Russian KIAs left to the elements by the Russian Army. God rest their souls.

Which brings me to the bottom line of my letter:


You are on a one way trip to the dustbin of history.  You will not recover from bombing hospitals. You will not ever be considered a civilized nation; for the rest of time, you will be known as a medieval, Dark Ages shit hole that engages in savage siege warfare using modern weaponry against babies, children, mothers, women, and old people.

This is you. This is your nation. This is your death sentence. This is forever.

This is now your national identity and you will be marked in the Hall of Villains forever and the Devil will build a special level for you. You will burn in Hell for Eternity.

The guy in the parka will still have a half dozen yachts floating in a sea of your blood and the blood of the innocents of Ukraine.

God bless you and keep you until you can muster the courage to overthrow your leadership. Until then, you are dead to the world and the world is dead to you.

Have a great day and I hope you burn in Hell.