Big Red Car here. Starting to cool off a bit here in the ATX. Santa is getting ready to hit the road and make his way to the ATX.
Santa needs some help. Who’s been naughty, Big Red Car? Who’s been nice, Big Red Car?
President Obama has been naughty. Big Red Car almost feels sorry for the old sod. He’s just an enormous liar. Biggest liar in the history of the Presidency?
If you like you health car plan, you can keep your health care plan. PERIOD. [Naughty, Mr President. Very, very naughty.]
If you like you doctor, you can keep your doctor. PERIOD [Uhh, Mr President, naught. Very naughty.]
OBAMAcare will reduce your family insurance premiums by $2,500 on average annually. [Mr President! Naughty, naughty, naughty.]
OBAMAcare will reduce the deficit. [Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty.]
OBAMAcare will bend the healthcare cost curve downward. [You know what that is, Old Sport. Right, naughty!]
The OBAMAcare website will work when launched. [OMG, Mr President, you really blew it on that one. Naughty, naughty, naughty.]
Susan Rice, President Obama’s current National Security Adviser, is naughty. The old girl tried to lie and tell us that the murder of Ambassador Stevens was the work of some pissed off movie critics trolling the neighborhood with mortars, RPGs, crew served automatic weapons and AK-47s. Naughty, naughty, naughty.
General David Petreaus has been naughty risking an illustrious military career and being the Chief Spook at the CIA for a bit of ankle. Naughty, Davie. Very naughty.
Former newsman Martin Bashir for suggesting that someone should defecate in Sarah Palin’s mouth. Martin was very, very naughty. I just hope that he never runs into Todd Palin. Todd is likely to open a can of vintage Whoop Ass on Marty.
Congressman Paul Ryan for implementing legislation to reduce military pensions. Very naughty, Paul. I hope you do not get re-elected in 2014. You are not only naughty, you are a traitor.
Flesh eating bacteria — are we going to have to explain this one to you? Naughty.
The National Park Service for closing down the World War II Memorial to some guys who stormed the beaches in Normandy. WTF were you thinking? These guys came ashore under fire and you thought you could keep them out with yellow tape and barricades?
Piers Morgan — are we damn sure this guy is in the country legally? Somebody doublecheck it. Idiot.
Jet Blue which allows veterans to board first on Veterans Day. Jet Blue is very nice.
USAA Insurance company which promised to extend interest free loans to its members who were active duty military and who got caught in the sequester. Very nice, USAA.
Mother Nature who provided a lot of fresh powder in Colorado allowing all the ski resorts to open right after Thanksgiving. Very nice, Mothah Nature.
Kate Upton for being, well, Kate Upton. Very nice, Katie. Very nice indeed.
Princess Kate for bearing a royal heir and not naming him “Burger”. [Get it, Burger King. Hahaha, STFU, Big Red Car. Only you think that is funny. Sheesh!] George Alexander Louis of Cambridge, what a nice name.
The AVC.com community for being the most dignified and intelligent salon on the Web. Comity. Very nice.
Pope Benedict — for showing how faith and humility in the service of God and man can be done with class. Very nicely played, Pope Benedict. Very nice.
George W Bush for his reserve in not criticizing the sitting President. What a classy guy. I can finally see why Laura married the guy. Very nice.
Auburn cornerback Chris Davis runs back field goal try for a touchdown defeating no. 1 Alabama and raining on Nick Sabon’s parade. Nice. Very nice.
Too close to call
Edward Snowden is caught between treason and having provided a very valuable service as it relates to the NSA’s conduct in listening in on, well, everything. [Big Red Car has to say in defense of the NSA that when The Boss’s laptop hard drive recently crashed they were very gracious in lending him a backup copy. So go figure.]
Google Glass — hey, where are my glasses, ya’ll? The jury is still out on you, Google.
Facebook, yeah, Facebook. Comes to the party looking a bit overcooked and overpromoted. Drops like a lead balloon and then has the last laugh at it trades above its IPO range. Hmmmm.
Dunk City — if you have to ask, you don’t need to know. Where are you, Dunk City?