You — You Are the Campaign Adviser

Let’s play a game — you are the Campaign Adviser/Strategist for every Republican campaign. Yes, every Republican campaign.

B’ack, let’s get a couple of Jersey Shore pizzas and a back rub?

What do the polls tell you?

You are looking at the following current Rasmussen Reports pre-debate poll.

Trump – 49% <<< Trump leads the next 8 candidates collectively by 10%

Ramaswamy – 11% <<< watch this wily oriental gentleman JK

DeSantis – 10% <<< huuuuuge disappointment

KristieKreme (Chris Christie) – 7%

Scott – 4%

Pence – 3%

Haley – 3%

Hutchison – 1%

Elder – 1% <<< cumulative total is 89%

Burgum, Hurd, Suarez, Binkley, Johnson — less than 1%

What do you tell your candidate?

Do you tell Burgum, Hurd, Suarez, Blinkley, Johnson that they are not even polling “friends & family” levels? They have a better chance of winning the MegaBall Lottery than being nominated for President by the Republicans?

Do you tell Mike Pence he has zero chance of ever being President? What do you do?

Do you tell DeSantis that three reorganizations, laying off a third of his campaign staff, and struggling to raise money is not the formula for success? Is he being hurt by his flashy “dictator wife?” <<< totally inappropriate comment

Do you tell Vivek Ramaswamy to launch some topless tennis? Like Putin? Is it a good look for a short guy?

Should KristieKreme challenge VikRam to a topless tennis match? This could be a big win for both of them.

Do you ask Trump, “How is it possible you’ve been indicted four times and you’re still crushing it? How?”

Bottom line it, Big Red Car

OK, fine. Primaries are not like general elections. The turnout is abysmal.

Every candidate thinks they have the chance to “emerge” and quicken the pulse of the electorate. Y’all are so damn pathetic. Not going to happen. Ever.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car.

BTW, I like this Burgum guy. You?