I saw something over on that Facebooger place some time ago and it motivated me to consider what things I don’t care about. Here they are — well, just ten:
1. The opinions of actors and celebrities — I don’t care WTF you think about anything. Sorry. Most of y’all have deficient high school educations. Why would I care? Sorry. I don’t care.
2. Trump’s Tweets — I like President Trump’s policies, but I never saw him as my cultural sherpa or my spiritual leader. He’s fine as POTUS, not as Pope. Sorry. His Tweets? I don’t care about them. If they break the Internet, explode Jim Acosta’s head, I just don’t care. Sorry. I don’t care.
3. Jim Acosta — I mentioned him, so I feel like I need to get right with Jimmy, but the simple truth is I don’t care. Could not possibly care less about this wasted bit of protoplasm. Your best interview, paragraph, sentence, report — your best punctuation? I don’t care. Since I never cared about hour living presence, I can’t even say you’re dead to me. Sorry. I don’t care.
4. Cancel Culture — I am not a follower, sort of good at lists, but I don’t want yours. I don’t care if Bruce Springsteen is in favor of human sacrifices to Joe Biden, I only like his music. So, when somebody tells me that I “have” to cancel out something in my life, I say — fuck off. I don’t care about the cancel culture. Sorry. I don’t care.
5. POV in writing — OK, so maybe you’re not focused on the point of view of a character in a story you’re writing. This is sort of a technical writing thing. I don’t care WTF the writing, grammar, punctuation police say about something that doesn’t really make any difference. This is small potatoes and I just don’t care. Sorry. I don’t care.
Hey, this is kind of cathartic.
6. Illegal immigrants having a path to citizenship that is all theirs — Sorry, I don’t care. If you are an illegal immigrant, then I stop caring about your future. Want to get back in line, go through the process? Sure, let’s get you on a path to citizenship, but if you broke the law to get into the country WTF should we be worried about making you a citizen? Sorry. I don’t care.
Big point: When every veteran who served the country is taken care of, then you may text me about your thoughts on illegal immigrants. Not until then. I do care about vets.
7. Corporate coffee — Sorry, I hate corporate coffee. I like coffee shops that are local, funky, and personable. I don’t like big corporate coffee (talking to you, SBUX). I refuse to pretend coffee does not come in small, medium, large. Fuck off. Sorry. I just don’t care.
8. Optics — I don’t give a crap about optics. [I also hate that word. Optics.] I am sick and tired of people thinking “this looks good but it is really bad.” Optics? I don’t care. Sorry. I just don’t care about the optics of the thing.
9. Gender confusion — I am stuck on the two gender thing as driven by simple biology. Sorry. I don’t give a rat’s ass as to how you feel. You can make up all the gender confused labels you want, but I just don’t care. Sorry. I don’t care.
10. Offending everybody with microaggressions — I do not care a whit that something small managed to offend you. When there is so much substantial, offensive material, why resort to a “micro” aggression? Let’s focus on the big stuff, like Antifa. Antifa offends me. So, if you think I am insensitive to whatever the fuck your current microaggression of the day is, rest assured: I don’t care. Sorry. Just don’t care.
OK, I said I would hold at ten. Good to my word, but I could do this all day.
Be well, amigos. If you don’t care, that’s fine. I don’t care that you don’t care when I say, “Be well, amigos.” I would even fight for your right to feel like that.
What do you NOT CARE about? $25 SBUX gift certificate to the best submittal. Starting right now.
But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car — not that I expect you to care.
