Steve Witkoff, 68, is a pal of Donald Trump’s from the rough and tumble of the Manhattan real estate industry. Witkoff, a lawyer (Hofstra University 1983) is an uber successful developer, investor, and financial manager with offices in Manhattan, Miami, and Los Angeles. He is an established and successful heavyweight real estate pro in some of the toughest markets in America.

Witkoff first met Trump when Witkoff was a brand new real estate lawyer with Dreyer & Traub and worked on the Trump account.

President Trump appointed him as the Ambassador to the Middle East to deal with Israel and Hamas. Your Big Red Car gives him high marks for cutting through all the bullshit and forcing Israel to make a ceasefire with Hamas to attempt to attain the release of hostages, particularly American hostages.

Bravo and well played sayeth your Big Red Car.

President Trump building on that success expanded Ambassador Witkoff’s portfolio to deal with the Russians, Ukraine, and Putin. In March, Witkoff went to Moscow and met with Putin for the second time.

Putin kept Witkoff waiting for 8 hours and then they met for 3 1/2 hours whereafter Witkoff jetted off with a total stay in Russia of a dozen hours.

The Putin meeting aftermath

After Witkoff returned from Russia and his Putin meeting, Witkoff made some comments (including during a suck up Tucker Carlson interview) that in the view of this Big Red Car were utterly and completely bizarre.

 1. Ambassador Witkoff said he found Putin to be “gracious” and that he “liked” the guy. In additon, he found him to be “super smart” and “not a bad guy.”

Witkoff liked a murderous thug who has his political rivals murdered, invades innocent neighbors, and kills babies, children, mothers, women, and other innocent civilians. Putin kidnaps Ukrainian children and brainwashes them — a war crime of the first order. Putin is a stone cold killer.

Putin targets railroad stations, churchs (670 Ukrainian churches have been struck by Russian missiles), hospitals, and residential buildings, but still Witkoff likes Putin and finds him gracious.

 2. Ambassador Witkoff struggled to recall the geography of Ukraine and the names of the oblasts currently held in part by Russia. He said he could see Putin’s argument as these provinces “spoke Russian” and were sympathetic to being part of Russia.

It is true that almost half of the population of those oblasts — Donetsk, Luhansk, Kherson and Zaporizhzhia — speak Russian, but most also speak Ukrainian. By this measure, the Rio Grande Valley should be part of Mexico.

Culturally all of Ukraine is impacted by Russian culture. Serbia is virtually the same culturally as Russia. This is NOT a cultural war.

 3. Ambassador Witkoff suggested Russia had a right to those contested oblasts because there had been a little green man managed “referendum” and the people had indicated they wanted to be part of Russia. Point of fact that referendum was conducted in Crimea and the part of Donetsk and Luhansk oblasts controlled by Russia.

At the time, the Russians had no presence in half of Donetsk and Luhansk and no presence in Kherson and Zaporishzhia.

The Russians conducted that widely condemned referendum. A huge fraction of the people in those oblasts had fled — none of them fled to Russia — and therefore were unable to vote.

In every credible survey of local sentiment the citizens of Donetsk, Luhansk, Kherson and Zaporizhzhia do not want to be part of Russia. The older folks recall what a shit show it was to be under the USSR that ended in 1991. They hate Russia. The younger folk all want to ally themselves with the West and freedom.

And, yet, Ambassador Witkoff thinks this is justification for Russia to invade Ukraine.

 4. Ambassador Witkoff came home with a story that dear Vladimir had, upon hearing of the assassination attempt on Trump, found sanctuary in a Russian Orthodox Christian church and prayed for his “dear friend.”

[Can you give me just a second, I feel the bile rising in my throat and may have to vomit.]

“Alex, can I get ‘shit that never happened’ for $1,000, please?”

 5. Whilst visiting with Putin, Putin gave Ambassador Witkoff a portrait of Trump commissioned by Putin. The portrait was painted by a well regarded Russian artist speculated to be Nikas Safronov, the People’s Artist of the Russian Federation and the painter of Putin’s official portrait.

FFS this so bloody cheesy.

 6. To put a cherry on the diplomatic fellatio, Ambassador Witkoff alluded to a bright future of collaboration between the US and Russia once this little matter is behind us.

Bottom line it, Big Red Car, we’re going to be planting annuals this afternoon

Fine, dear reader, nice day for it with all that magnificent sunshine.

 1. Ambassador Witkoff is a solid guy and may be exactly the right guy for the assignment, but — there is always a but — he is profoundly naive and completely under the spell of Putin.

Putin has been jerking off American Presidents for three decades and he’s good at it.

 2. The utterances of Ambassador Witkoff — I did not say “incredibly stupid” — are unsubstantiated by any minimal due diligence. He has given serious consideration to the most specious, unfounded arguments.

Do you recall when the Russian Special Military Operation was intended to de-Nazify Ukraine before it became a “legitimate” attempt to forestall the eastern encroachment of Nato and then became justified by cultural appropriation?

 3. The Russians without provocation attacked an innocent neighbor they had promised to defend in the Budapest Memorandum (look it up). There can be no whitewashing of that harsh and violent reality.

The Russians are an evil country led by a first rate scumbag.

 4. The US and its President and his Ambassadors have to deal with some unsavory characters, but for goodness sake they don’t have to lick their balls in public. Have some damn dignity. You represent the most powerful nation on the world.

 5. The Russians want only one thing — to keep that landbridge from Mother Russia to Crimea and their warm water port and to remove all economic sanctions.

In the meantime, the Russians are going to drag this out a bit, continue to soften up the Americans, and will eventually call a halt wherein they will rearm, refit, recruit, and await their next bit treachery. This isn’t anywhere close to the end.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway; I’m just a Big Red Car.