Big Red Car here – I don’t qualify for Uber because I’m too damn cute. Sorry, Uber. Doesn’t mean I can’t love Uber from afar. [Been cheating on my Uber-affaire with Lyft. Don’t tell anybody.]

The Bevo loves Uber and the Big Red Car. Big Red Car poses for a selfie with the Bevo on the occasion of beating the crap out of Tulsa. OK, squeaking past Tulsa, thanks, place kicker.

So, what’s going on over at Uber?

Uber logo

Uber has redone its branding and logo.

Out with the old. Boo! The old logo was, “…adrenaline letters that live on a grill. The letters are squareish and hyper masculine.” Yes, somebody got paid a lot of money to come up with that crap. Said it in words and written.

Here is the new Uber logo.

In with the new. Yeah! OK, I know you’re overwhelmed. If you feel faint, breathe deeply and put your head between your legs so the blood goes to your head. I know. I had the same reaction. Wow!

You may be seeing something which looks simple, but it is complex, as complex as nuclear physics or figuring out Uber’s demand based (We screw you when it rains.) pricing.

According to the designers who worked this deal – Wolff Olins – the old logo was filled with male and Silicon Valley “bravado.” Yeah, I get that. Also, the old brand “didn’t scale globally.” [I know, you want to say “WTF does that mean?” Do not do that.]

The new logo stresses the new values of Uber – safety, accessibility, and global ambitions. You know, the whole, big picture “global mobility story.”

Huge point: the right side of the “U” and the left side of the “b” are perfectly parallel like the lines on a street. You probably picked that up all by yourself.

This is the second time that Uber has redone its brand in three years.

This time around the message is: “Uber doesn’t want to be an Ayn Rand archetype anymore. It wants to be the way you move into the future. That message is powerful, sure. But now, Uber as a company needs to live up to it.”

Somebody really said that. Me? I just want a freakin’ ride downtown cause the parking is impossible.

Uber numbers

The numbers at Uber, which is grooming itself for a 2019 IPO, are not encouraging.

Q2-2018 losses are up 32% from Q1. They lost $404,000,000. Do not fret, they have a boatload of cash and will be just fine.

Who doesn’t want to buy shares in a money losing company?

To make it a bit more troubling, revenue for the quarter was up 8% at $2.8B. Year-over-year comparison is up 51%.

Somehow when revenue goes up, your loss should narrow. Oh, well, that’s a little too Old School.

If that’s not troubling enough, Q2-2018 margin was 3.4% of gross bookings while Q2-2017 margin was 6.3%.

New CEO Dara Khosrowshahi said, “We had another great quarter, growing at an impressive rate for a business of our scale.” He then went on to fire up the smoke generators.

The old CEO wanted to call the company BOOBER. Me, I want to chase the global mobility dream. I’m an adult. He was a frat boy. Yes, we are losing money like mad, but we’re going to jam through a 2019 IPO cause we know how stupid you really are.

So, there you have it, dear readers. Uber’s numbers are a little troubling, but they have a NEW LOGO.

Is this a great country or what? Can’t wait for the IPO.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car.