Tag Archives: o’rourke

03/14/19

Beto’s Dog Artemis Announces for First Dog

If y’all have been following the air waves, you know that Robert Francis O’Rourke of El Paso by God Texas has decided to throw his gimme cap into the ring and seek the presidency of the United States of America.

This is Beto’s “thoughtful” gaze. It projects that quality we want in our presidents — a vacuous stare with a finger over their lips telling them not to say anything stupid. Haha, just kidding. Love the guy. He’s from Texas. Yes, El Paso is part of Texas.

Here he is rehearsing his lines: “Man, I’m just born to be in it.” Pretty sure there were no copywriters involved with that bit of genius.

Image result for images beto

But the real star, the real driver of the Tribe Beto is Artemis, a Labrador. We were able to grab Artie, a real bitch, for a quick interview. She did not hold anything back.

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09/20/18

The Great Debate – Texas Senate Race

Big Red Car here on a gloomy Thursday morning in the ATX. Texas politics is fun in a roller derby kind of way. The race for the Texas Senate will be a barn burner though recent polling suggests Cruz is looking at a ten point victory.

For the Senate we have a faux Hispanic running against a real Hispanic who doesn’t seem Hispanic.

[At this point, please allow me to make a preemptive apology for all the offenses I have committed against good order and decency thus far and for the rest of the blog post. I am sorry.]

U.S. Rep. Beto O'Rourke, D-El Paso (left), and U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas.

Robert Francis O’Rourke, the Dem challenger, faces off with Teddy Cruz, the incumbent in three debates.

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