Our Lost American Cities

I rise in mourning today to grieve for our lost American cities.

Count me amongst those who find the term “new normal” offputting. I am not the squeamish type, but it grates on my ear.

Not the kind of grating that makes you reach for your concealed handgun, but the kind that shortens a convo and moves you on to the next page of your reading.

One thing that does come to mind as I contemplate a return to “normal”  is there are American cities that have been so indelibly changed in the first half of 2020 that they will never return to their prior greatness.

These are our lost American cities and it is a tragedy of gargantuan proportions.

$50 Walmart Gift Certificate to the first person who can identify this city being burned down whilst the coppers stand and watch. This is a trick, so be wary.

On my personal list of such cities are:

Minneapolis

New York

Chicago

Seattle

Portland

Baltimore

Richmond

Salt Lake City

Austin

If you feel the urge, nominate your favorites and I will publish the revised list. Justify your selections.

In all of these cities there is some combination of COVID, economic depravity, defunding of law enforcement, rioting, violence, arson, looting, vandalism, and flawed/failed leadership that has made a witch’s brew that makes me never want to go there for the rest of this century.

Leadership

At the core of all of these cities is flawed/failed leadership. If you elect morons, they will do moronic things. All of these cities are run by morons — this includes their entire City Councils.

None of these cities — all of which admit they are in the midst of some form of existential crisis — has any clue as to how to extricate themselves from the morass they themselves have created. [OK, I used the word “existential.” Sorry.]

Pro tip: Do not ask arsonists how to put out fires.

The first step in solving any problem is to admit you have a problem. Unfortunately, amongst morons that is not enough, because they often like the problem whilst also being the source of the problem. Do not argue with pigs, they love rolling in the mud and will therefore prolong the argument.

In many instances, the morons do not want to solve the problem because it fits their own view of things.

They will always do things that make the problem worse — like releasing all rioters and failing to charge them with any crime. Surprise — a released, uncharged rioter returns to the riot.

This is like the famous cliff swallows of San Juan Capistrano who make the annual 6,000 mile journey to Argentina every year and then return to Mission San Juan Capistrano on Saint Joseph’s Day (19 March).

Be specific, Big Red Car?

Sure, dear reader, why not?

I do not feel safe in New York. Not a novel idea as evidenced by the wholesale exodus of everybody who can get out getting out. Look at the U Haul statistics. Look at the wealthy refugees sheltering in place in the Hamptons.

The Mayor of New York, a truly moronic leader, has alienated the police force, diverted funds from policing, and put the city on a riotous wartime footing in which he is the enabling power to the enemies of law and order.

This moron sees his job as being to facilitate and participate in painting Black Lives Matter signs on the street in front of Trump Tower, a move sure to create peace in that great city.

New York has seen this before in the pre-Guliani days when it was a combat mission to enter Central Park. The Mayor G cleaned it up and Central Park was safe 24/7/365 — but not without a lot of work and the cooperation of the NYPD.

Today, the New York Police Department is openly at war with the Mayor. When your police force is not leaning forward in their saddles, they do not see the crime, but the crime sees you.

In addition, every cop who can retire is retiring. If you have no cadet classes at your police academy, guess what? You cannot make up the personnel losses and, worse, you cannot replace the gray hair and experience.

Any cop who is not fully vested — less than 10 years service — is looking for a new job outside law enforcement in Dallas.

People are being robbed at gunpoint on the Upper East Side in broad daylight.

I will miss great Reuben sandwiches, walks in the park, the plays, the great eats, long walks, the heartbeat of the Melting Pot, the Statue of Liberty, but I will not go to New York.

Will it get better, Big Red Car?

Yes, it will. The people will get tired of the lawlessness. They will yearn for order. They will recall what it was like and they will, eventually, elect persons who are not morons.

It will take an entire generation. It will take an intervention. It will require a peaceful revolution. Sorry.

Some places, talking to you Chicago, will get far worse before there is a glimmer of hope. Every person I know who has lived in and loved Chicago is leaving.

The weekly shootings, the murders are grating on even the big shouldered, tough as steel Chicago psyche.

I predict that the Federal government will intervene in Chicago without local support. It will get very bad.

Bottom line it, Big Red Car

There is no real bottom line. These cities are indelibly marked. A year from today there will still be looted, burnt storefronts — put that in your Broken Windows theory of policing and smoke it — that will remind all of how these cities have changed.

In a big city like NY, it will take small things before there will be any hope for big things. The rents will plummet. Real estate values will decline. You will not feel safe.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Have a great week. Say a prayer for our lost American cities.

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