Today your Big Red Car sits down with Year 2021 to discuss its last day of existence.
Between you and me, Year 2021 looks a little green around the gills and shows a lot of wear-and-tear — what might be called “ridden hard and put up wet.”
Big Red Car: “So, 2021, it’s been a tough year, no?
2021: “Tell me about it, BRC, what an experience. Can’t wait until I’m off duty tonight.”
BRC: “What was the worst part of the year for you?”
2021: “I would have to say that it was the Pandemic and, I suppose, the change of control between the Trump chap and Joe Biden.”
BRC: “Let’s focus on the Pandemic, shall we? Lay it out for us, can you?”
2021: “For starters, nobody really has a clue as to what is going on. We have the blind leading the deaf and dumb. This 81-year-old Fauci huskster has been on all sides of this issue. Not a clue as to what is really going on and hopelessly political. Most highly compensated Federal employee in the entire government. How is that possible?”
BRC: “Look, 2021, I’m asking the questions here. So, the death of the experts? Fair play?”
2021: “Sorry. Didn’t mean to step on your toes. Everybody is so damn prickly these days. Side effect of the China Virus, no doubt. Yes, absolutely, nobody knows anything any more. Pure hokum. Of course, the price of Pfizer stock has ramped up from about $18 to $475. Might want to look that up, don’t take my word for it. Follow the money, no?”
BRC: “How does the Omicron strike you?”
2021: “I predict every person in the United States gets Omicron — whether they’re vaxxed and 5X boosted or not — and that is the way this bloody Pandemic is finally overcome. Know what is not going to happen?”
BRC: “Tell me.”
2021: “The Chinese are never going to own up to starting this Pandemic. Came right out of that Wuhan lab. Trump knew it. The current regime, the European Union, the World Health Organization — nobody has any balls anymore — everybody knows it was the Chinese. The only real question is did they do it on purpose? I say they did.”
BRC: “OK, I’m going to end the conversation on the China Virus right there. Joe Biden? How is that working out?””
2021: “Guy was able to destroy American energy independence in 90 bloody days. Never saw that coming. Total house wrecker. Took four years to build energy independence and 90 days to destroy. It was the single worst blow to the US economy since 1776. The US was pumping 13.1MM barrels of crude a day on Inauguration Day, flooding the world market with its excess production thereby controlling prices, and Brandon kicks the energy industry in the nuts the first week in office and BOOM! everybody stops investing capital in production and production plummets to less than 10MM barrels a day. What a bloody moron.”
BRC: “Can he just reverse it? He can, right?”
2021: “Nope. Too much damage done. Look at inflation — you kill energy independence, dampen supply, and guess what? Prices soar because our excess production no longer sets the market price. Doubled gas prices in less than six months. Joe Biden did that with his paen to the progressives. Now, inflation is loose and is going on a rampage destroying wage gains thereby pushing wages even higher creating damn inflation spiral. Double digit inflation is here, right now.”
BRC: “What else?”
2021: “We had a bad year as it relates to the whole governance thing — the Cabinet Brandon nominated is the biggest collection of losers since Noah and that Ark thing. Afghanistan? That’s what these morons are capable of doing. Same guys who planned that mess are dealing with the ‘Vid. Losers. At some time you have to look at results and stop kidding yourself.”
BRC: “Let me ask the questions, please. Since you brought it up, Afghanistan?”
2021: “Total jug fuck. Idiots give up a defensible airport to use a downtown airport that they could not defend. Spent billions training the Afghan army and they melt away on first contact. Our guys trained them. 350,000 Afghan army gets beaten like a rented mule on the last day of the year by 30,000 Taliban. WTF? Who gets held accountable for this? Who? Amateur hour. Marines and soldiers killed — who takes accountability for their deaths? Nobody. We still have people behind enemy lines right now. Who would throw in with the US now?”
BRC: “It is a sobering thought. So, some folks are saying you were one of the worst years in American history. What say you?”
2021: “If I could piss on my own grave, I’d be at the front of the line. Don’t wait on it because it’s going to be a long, long, long line. Terrible year. Not all my fault.”
BRC: “What advice do you have for 2022?”
2021: “Keep your eye on the Russians and the Chinese — war on the horizon in Ukraine and Taiwan. Biden and NATO will talk a good game, but when it comes down to it, the Russians don’t give a damn about a few more sanctions. Why should they? China is building more than 300 ICBM tubes — who builds ICBM tubes other than people who want to unleash evil on the world? Don’t force any accountability for the ‘Vid and this is what you get. Meanwhile our military is focused on transgender Rangers and tattoos. We’re throwing out 100,000 experienced warriors over the vax? Very weak leadership.”
BRC: “Speaking of China? The US is conducting a ‘diplomatic boycott.’ What happens with the Beijing Games?”
2021: “Look the Beijing Games are going to be cancelled because of the Omicron. Everybody knows that. Diplomatic boycott? Kissing your ugly cousin, the one with the big hairy wart on her nose. Means nothing.”
BRC: “Well, it was a very bad year. Wasn’t it?”
2021: “You like Sinatra? Remember his song, “It Was A Very Good Year?”
BRC: “Yes. Your point?”
2021: “It was a very bad year for the entire world. Think of Sinatra singing that. It was a very bad year for our people, our country, the world. And, we made it far worse with our incompetent response to almost every challenge.”
BRC: “Any parting words, 2021?”
2021: “Tonight, right at the stroke of midnight, open your front door and let the old year out and the New Year in. Slam your door and don’t let me pollute the New Year. It was a very bad year.”
