President Donald Trump — fresh off a boffo State of Trump World speech to the Enthusiastic Republicans and the Surly Democrats in the US Congress — announced today a Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.

Are you sure, Big Red Car?

Yes, of course, dear reader, would I ever lie too you? No.

Here’s the rub: recently announced 25% tariffs on Canadian maple syrup have motivated the Trump admin to create a Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve to absorb any shock waves from the newly imposed 25% tariffs on Canadian goods.

What are the facts, Big Red Car? We need data.

Of course you do. All of us are slaves to data, so here’s the facts:

 1. The US produces only a portion of its own domestic maple syrup requirements — hat tip to Vermont (2.2MM gals), New York (845K gals), and Maine (672K gals).

 2. The American pancake eater consumes 0.3 gallons of maple syrup per year. It is a $1.2B market.

 3. Canada — world’s dominant producer and exporter of maple syrup — produces 17.4MM gallons of the sweet stuff annually with 91% of it coming from Quebec Province.

It’s a $500MM wholesale business.

 4. The US imports 6.5MM gallons annually from Canada and Canada also ships to Germany (1.2MM gals), Japan (1MM gals), England (800K gals), and France (600K gals).

 5. With combined domestic (4.4MM gals) and imported from Canada (6.5MM gals) maple syrup, the annual US consumption of maple syrup is approximately 11MM gallons.

You’re kidding, right, Big Red Car? A bloody strategic maple syrup reserve?

Ahhh, dear reader, not so bloody fast.

The Canadians have had a Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve for years. They call it the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve and it is located in Quebec and managed by the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers (FPAQ) and it is 100MM lbs of maple syrup or 13MM gallons.

The stated purpose of the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve is to stabilize prices and to ensure supply for a pancake eating world.

Bottom line it, Big Red Car

Keep your eyes on maple syrup futures, dear readers. Huge investment opportunity. [Never ever take investment advice from a 1966 Impala Supersport Chevy convertible who writes a blog. You are way smarter than that, right? Right? Better to follow Nancy Pelosi’s trardes.]

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car headed to the Pancake House in 5 minutes. Actually, I think I will just make some blueberry pancakes.