A guy calls me up and asks, “What’s the smallest action somebody can take to improve their chances of success?”

Interesting question — “smallest” was the keyword here.

So, I think about that and I say, “Exercise just a modicum of self-control which means impose discipline.”

He laughs. He is prone to laughter, pleasant chap.

“Can you make that more practical and pointed?” asks he.

I say, “Yes.”

Self-control, discipline, Big Red Car?

There are only three primary things a man has to control to guide himself toward the path of success: his penis, his stomach, and his mouth.

Penis — don’t deputize your penis to do your thinking. Not saying the old boy should join a nunnery, just don’t let it override your brain. There is no wisdom in an aroused penis.

Stomach — watch what you put into it; be mindful of the health implications of what you eat and drink.

Mouth — watch what you say; filter it before you say it. It is impossible to undo the damage of an errant or hateful word, so be careful about that you say and to whom. Think before speaking and do not be afraid to deprive the world of your words.

It is really that simple, Big Red Car?

Yes, unfortunately. You don’t need to harness artificial intelligence to make it in life, just a half jigger of common sense and wit.

Can you give us a real world example, you bloody Big Red Car?

Certainly, amigo. I offer Donald J Trump as my example.

If this cat hadn’t subcontracted some of his decision-making to his penis? How about if he’d been judicious with his words? How about fewer Big Macs?

BTW, the Donald does not drink.

Bottom line it, Big Red Car

The bottom line is this — the first step on the road to success is painfully simple. Exercise self-control and impose some discipline on — YOU!

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Happy Father’s Day!