I was talking to the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei the other day. We speak from time to time. Time zone’s a problem.
I said to him, “Ali, my man, you’ve gotten your ass in a crack with the Trump admin, haven’t you, Old Sod?”
He sighed and then whispered (has a shallow, raspy, weak, old-guy voice), “Yes, my dear Big Red Car, we are good and truly fucked, I fear. What can I do?”
“Well, for starters, amigo, how about defunding Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis? Stop firing missiles into Israel and pull out of Syria and Iraq? Stop killing Jews indiscriminately? Quit with the nuclear bomb development?”
“You are not up on the regional news, Big Red Car, not like you.” He tried out a laugh, but it didn’t take and he had a long coughing fit. “Our friends Hamas are mostly dead at the hands of the Israelis. This Trump — may Allah curse his soul — person has allowed the Israelis to kill all the Hamas leadership and they are with American cooperation leveling Gaza.”
“Not sorry to hear that, Ali, babe, very bad chaps,” says I. “What else is cooking?”
“Same thing with the Hezbollah brethren. The Israelis just keep killing leader after leader. We advertised for a new head and deputy of Hezbollah on Indeed, but no takers.”
“Hmm, anything else?”
“President Donald Trump has given us less than two months to stop our nuclear weapons development and our friends the Russians, the Chinese, and North Korea are encouraging us to ramp up our efforts and to develop some nukes. Your Donald says he’s going to bomb the shit out of us. What should I do?”
Real world it, Big Red Car
Iran is in a pickle of their own making and it’s getting ready to hit the bloody fan.
1. The Trump 2.0 admin has reinstated all the Trump 1.0 sanctions against Iran and they are already starting to pinch. The Iranian economy is in real trouble. [Huge China implications as all that Iran oil goes to China.]
2. In Gaza, the Israelis — now unleashed from the Biden shackles — are leveling the oceanfronting strip and killing Hamas leadership with abandon. With Trump’s nod, Israel will literally wipe Hamas off the face of the earth.
The Israelis will literally bulldoze Gaza.
3. In Lebanon, Hezbollah continues to twist in the wind leadersless and vulnerable. Once Israel and the IDF finishes the task in Gaza, it is no leap of faith that Hezbollah is next. Already, Hezbollah is pruned to a mere fraction of itself.
4. The Trump admin is reasserting western control of the waters around Yemen and punishing the Iran backed Houthis for interdicting travel from the Suez Canal. This has been going on for almost two years.
5. Yesterday, we learned the Iranians are essentially abandoning the Houthis to their own devices. Expect the US to continue to pound the Houthis until they have no more missiles and shipping is again safe. This is big. Very big. Huuuuuuge!
6. The Russians issued a warning to the Americans not to bomb Iran. Clearly, Trump is putting the right package of weapons into place to do just that.
7. The Iranians are positioning their missiles on launchers in anticipation of getting caught unawares when the bombs begin to drop.
8. The Iranians continue to issue forth belligerent rhetoric that does not seem to be moving the needle much with this Trump 2.0 fellow.
9. It does appear the Russians and the Chinese are encouraging Iran to move forward to create nuclear weapons as quickly as possible. This is a trouibling development.
Wow, bottom line it, Big Red Car
The situation with Iran is heating up. We will not end the month of March without a new and dangerous development in Iran and I predict the US will attack Iran.
But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. BOOM!