Frat boy bad behavior?
Big Red Car here getting ready to unload on venture capitalists who engage in or tolerate frat boy, bro-culture, bad behavior in their firms and in the firms they fund.
Let’s cite examples, shall we?
Take the case of one Justin Caldbeck, formerly a co-founder of venture capital firm Binary Capital. BC is a seed stage firm with $300MM under management, a new $75MM offering in the marketplace. Put money in Snap.
Caldbeck, Harvard guy, was one of two partners with another partner recently joined. The new guy has already resigned. The firm is, essentially, wrecked though when you have $300MM of OPM, it has to be wound up carefully.
Hustling Justin stands accused by six women of inappropriate conduct from staying uninvited overnight at a woman’s apartment to running a hand up a woman’s thigh at a dinner, and engaging in sexually explicit text messaging. Typical frat boy, bad behavior. No style points. No charm. Just a groper with a Harvard sheepskin.
These incidents were all promulgated by Hustling Justin’s ability to do something good for these women. He helped them and he wanted them to “help” him? Ugh!
This is typical Silicon Valley Venture Capital men-in-power bad behavior while holding the lever of funding as a tool to get laid. It is not a complex problem to understand.
It is as old as the world itself. Men behaving badly using their financial power to get women to submit to their sexual advances.
We understand the problem, Big Red Car, what do we do?
First, we don’t understand the problem. We ignore it.
We ignored the fiasco unraveling over at Uber or “Boober” as it was called by its CEO and founder, Travis Kalanik — another prince.
The board of directors — venture capitalists — knew of this problem and did nothing until it exploded on the front page of America.
Too little, too late — they hire former Attorney General Eric Holder to conduct an investigation which ends up in the resignation of the company’s #2 boob, Emil Michael, and twenty other boobs.
There is a price and it has to be paid
Let’s start with the idea that bad behavior of all stripes should be punished, shall we?
In the case of Hustling Justin, he resigned, apologized, and is using a new brand of mouthwash. The VC firm is wrecked and his former partner is screwed. Well played, HJ.
Not enough in the view of the Big Red Car.
In the case of Travis the K, he has been forced out leaving vacancies in the CEO, #2 guy, COO, CFO, CMO, and General Counsel offices.
[Note to Uber board — your failure to act in a timely manner is cowardly and will cost you billions of dollars in lost value, but what it really reveals is what pimp dog whores to money y’all are. Why didn’t you deal with this sooner? Are you that greedy? Did you notice that all the adults were leaving the company?]
Solve it, Big Red Car
OK, here’s the solution:
1. Stop ignoring the problem. Stop. Admit it. If you are a guy who has engaged in this behavior, stop it. Make a penance. Get help.
2. Look at reality — 90% of VCs are men. All these men talk a good game about balance and diversity, but when you look at a picture of their firm, there are no women.
Stop lecturing everybody, you fakirs and poseurs, until you have women senior partners.
3. Report bad behavior. Report bad behavior and engage in public shaming. Bit unfair, but this is triage, baby.
Women in tech need to out the shitheads. OK, so not everybody who is accused of something did it, but the pendulum has to swing back.
Make a website to report bad behavior to.
4. Tell your big brothers. Big brothers, take immediate and direct action.
If you are a women sans big brother, start a web based company wherat you can hire a former Navy SEAL to be your “big brother for a week.” Guys who hit on women because they have the power of the purse will understand an old fashioned big brother ass whipping.
[OK, the Big Red Car is kidding, but it could be a thing. Especially if you have a big brother who is a former Navy SEAL. A paratrooper or Ranger brother will also work and he doesn’t have to be older than you.]
5. Ask your personal trainer how to slap the snot out of a guy who gets fresh with you. It’s not krav maga, but it’s a start. Practice.
Personal advice to the guys, the frat boy bad behavior boys
[OK, let me bottom line it for y’all, fellows. If you cannot attract any female companionship without flashing money or promising to fund someone’s deal — YOU ARE A PATHETIC LOSER.]
Glad we had a chance to chat, y’all. Needed to say that. Remember when the Big Red Car puts [something in brackets], nobody can see it but you and me.
And, that, dear reader, is how the cow ate the cabbage.
But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Be good to someone today. Even yourself.
