If you own an Apple phone and use Siri — face it, who doesn’t — you may not realize that when you found yourself in an “intimate” moment, you may really have been enjoying a threesome with Siri.
Apple had a program wherein they captured “inadvertent” conversations including you doing the wild thing [or discussing that rash, or doing a drug deal, or plotting a watermelon theft] with your beloved and allowed contractors to evaluate them to see how this problem happened.
“Babe, who is that?” asks the beloved just as you unleash your secret, death defying, all satisfying power move.
“Oh, that’s Tim Cook’s pal, Siri.”
“Babe, that’s creepy.”
“Shh, now where were we, beloved? Oh, yes, my power move. Come here, dumpling.”
Of course, they forgot to tell you that you and the dumpling were providing “content” for the contractors.
Yes, this really happened.
Huh, Big Red Car?
Not to worry, dear reader. Apple, in the person of its CEO Tim Cook also operating under the alias of “Tim Apple,” has apologized for its bad behavior.
“As a result of our review, we realise (note the British spelling, very international) we have not been fully living up to our high ideals, and for that we apologise. As we previously announced, we halted the Siri grading program. We plan to resume later this fall when software updates are released to our users.”
OK, that makes it all right, right? Haha, an apology? That’s it?
There is the problem that Apple did not disclose they intended to snatch a few of your convos to “grade” for dictation and other characteristics.
They never would have if they hadn’t been caught. This article by the UK Guardian was the only way we found out about this.
UK Guardian Apple Article
Who says privacy is dead?
Apple, in taking down the program, has promised when they put it up again, they will not use contractors. Whew!
They will use DIRECT EMPLOYEES. Huh?
So, there you have it. You, your beloved, and Siri — a threesome made in Heaven.
“Hey, dumpling, do you mind if I ask Siri to do something?”
But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Be well. Have a great weekend. Call someone who needs to hear from you. Do it.
