Big Red Car here. Last week we had some Big Red Rules and one of them was: The juice is always worth the squeeze.
A lot of folks have written to me, the Big Red Car, and asked: “Hey, Big Red Car, what does that mean — the juice is always worth the squeeze.
WTF, Big Red Car?
OK, here goes.
Hot girl dancing
You come into a club and see your pal, Joey, who is eyeballing a particularly beautiful young girl dancing . She is a damn good dancer and worthy of a bit of the stinkeye.
Joey: “Hey, Bobby, how ya doing?”
Bobby: “All good, Joey. You?
Joey: “Good.”
Bobby: “Hey, isn’t that Katie Upton over there dancing? She’s hot.”
Joey: “Yeah, she’s hot alright but she’s got that bat shit crazy boyfriend, Freddie. He’s nuts.”
Bobby: “Freddie’s a bad piece of business, Joey. He’s way beyond nuts. He’s out of town a lot, isn’t he? Wonder what Katie is up to when gorilla man is gone?”
Joey, sly smile: “Well, I was trying to see if Katie might have some time to catch a drink when the club closes down tonight. And, Bobby, apparently little Katie does and we’re getting a drink when the noise stops.”
Bobby: “Joey, Joey — watch that shit. Freddie’s a maniac. This could go ugly on an ape fast.”
Joey: “Well, maybe a shot at that Katie’s worth it. Ya know what I mean?”
Bobby, laughing: “Bobby, that Katie? My man, that juice is always worth the squeeze.”
Joey and Katie get a drink, make some memories — lifetime highlight reel type memories. Kind of memories that pass before you when the Grim Reaper comes calling.
But Freddie finds out and he does, in fact, go ugly on an ape. On Joey.
Joey in the hospital
His pal Bobby comes by to visit him.
Bobby: “Oh, man, looking at you makes my face hurt. Is that going to heal? Ouch.”
Joey, in obvious pain: “Yeah, I took at real beating. That Freddie is a freakin’ maniac.”
Bobby: “Hey, man, was the juice worth the squeeze?”
Joey, long pause, stifling a spasm of pain: “Yeah, Bobby, well here’s the thing — the juice is always worth the squeeze. Katie? That juice was definitely worth the squeeze. I am gonna heal. Some day.”
But, hey, what the Hell do I know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car.