You are a young Russian in vocational school learning to become a BMW/Mercedes mechanic and a guileful, well-dressed, Russian recruitment officer comes to your school and says, “May I please have a word with you? Ivan, have I got a deal for you!”

“Oh, Russian recruitment officer, I am quite content here in my training to become a BMW/Mercedes mechanic. Thank you, but no thank you.”

“Please Ivan, hear me out. I know you are a patriot and your Mother Russia and Vladimir Putin himself — he mentioned you by name, comrade — require your assistance as cannon fodder a patriotic soldier in Ukraine. You are a patriot, yes?”

Vladimir Putin stages faux visit to “wounded” Russian soldiers in hospital. Same guy in both pics?

“I am as patriotic as the next Orc, comrade; OK, what’s the deal?” Continue reading →