09/19/19

Nancy Pelosi v Jerry Nadler — Just Trying To Help

Pssst, dear reader. I find myself in an awkward place today. I have been asked to mediate between Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi, and the Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Congressman Jerry Nadler. They had a dustup at the Dem Caucus yesterday.

They just arrived in my office and they are really pissed off. Oh boy!

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07/17/19

The Day Decorum Died in the US Congress

Spoiler alert — this is a blog post about how the US Congress is wasting their time and our money while engaged in meaningless self-flagellation.

So, President Donald J Trump unleashed the power of Twitter in his inimitable style. It offended a few folks.

There is no novelty amongst that trio — Trump, Twitter, folks taking offense. Let me take that a step further — if Trump is tweeting, he is pissing people off.

Pro tip: He does it on purpose. It’s part of his schtick. When you react to it, you are doing exactly what he wants you to do. He got elected using his Twitter antics. He is the King of Twitter. He will only stop when you stop feeding the beast.

Amongst those offended were The Squad. The Squad — also known as AOC Plus Three — had flung some invective his direction and he responded with Tweets that they classified as RACIST.

RACIST racist RACIST

Calling somebody a racist these days is the new normal. The word itself has lost any grounding in the English language. If anybody disagrees with another, they are a racist. It is slipping into the lexicom like the word “dude.”

I have a pal with whom I enjoy discussing the issues of the day. Before we start chatting, we both say, “Dude, you’re a hopelessly clueless racist.” That keeps us from having to build to that crescendo. Gets us off on the right foot.

BTW, I think you are a racist. Glad we got that out of the way.

This happened after AOC implied Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was also a racist for singling out The Squad — The Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse — for picking on them because they were “women of color.”

Nancy, trying to ingratiate herself with AOC suggested that any Dem in “her” district could get elected including a GLASS OF WATER. Ouch. So we had some raw nerves amongst the Speaker (Wily Coyote), AOC, and The Squad.

Image result for images aoc

There is no quicker trigger finger in the Congress than Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez when it comes to hurling racist invective. You’re drawing your six gun and Alex has already fired and hit you twice, amigo.

I dig AOC.

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01/29/19

Exclusive Interviews

OK, yesterday the Big Red Car posted an exclusive interview with the Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro Pelosi. You can read it here.

Nancy Pelosi – an Exclusive Interview

A reader of the female, legal persuasion wrote me a scathing email — I am still blushing at her language, but a blush on a Big Red Car is hard to detect — in which she doubted whether, in fact, the Big Red Car had spoken directly to Madame Speaker.

“You are a bald faced liar,” were her exact words. It is hard to quote a sentence from her email without exposing y’all to profanity. She called me a “rust bucket” which is, unfortunately, true.

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01/28/19

Nancy Pelosi – an Exclusive Interview

Big news today, y’all. Your Big Red Car has snagged an exclusive interview with the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi.

Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro Pelosi is the 78-year old Speaker of the House for a second time. She represents approximately 80% of the City of San Francisco (if people are taking a dump on your block, call Nancy) and has served in the Congress since the Holy Ghost was a Private First Class.

OK, she has served for 32 years and will serve through 34 when she finishes this term. [Term limits. The Big Red Car is in favor of term limits.]

Image result for images nancy pelosi

“You thought he, President McDonald Trump, had a chance? I was running the House when he was banging porn stars and Playboy bunnies. Please!”

We met at a coffee shop in West Austin where she was nibbling a croissant and drinking a “shot in the dark” — three shots of espresso in a black cup of coffee.

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