College Basketball — Carolina Tar Heels v Duke Blue Devils — A Modest Proposal

If you are like me, you are still wondering when the 2019-2020 NCAA Tournament, March Madness, is going to start.

Alas, we are well and truly fucked, amigo. It is never going to happen. Which brings me to the quandary of what to do with college basketball come November.

So, I make bold to make a modest proposal. Read to the end before you judge me. Keep an open mind.

The Modest Proposal

I propose that in order to avoid any COVID infection risk, rivalry schools, like the Carolina Tar Heels and the Duke Blue Devils, enter into a series of games which will approximate their season whilst mining the enthusiasm of these critical rivalries and providing loyal fans with the necessary juju and mojo they need to stabilize their lives.

It goes without saying that it will be a welcome diversion from the COVID.

Somebody may make a buck along the way, but, hey, that’s capitalism, right?

 1. The Carolina v Duke rivalry in basketball is the gold standard by which all other rivalries are measured.

Carolina, a public school founded in 1789, and Duke, a private school founded in 1838, have played each other in the noble contest of basketball for a century this year. First game was 1920, UNC 38 – Duke 25.

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Grateful For The Underdog — Stephen F Austin v Duke

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the American tradition of championing the underdog.

If you were knocked unconscious this week or you do not follow college basketball (I would personally prefer my excuse to have been the “knocked out” thing.) then you may not know that the Stephen F Austin Lumberjacks whipped the #1 Duke Blue Devils (they wanted to be called the Spawns of Satan, but that name was taken), thusly:

Stephen F Austin 85 — Duke 83 Final, OT

The Lumberjacks/Jills beat the Dukies at Cameron Indoor (this is a known portal into Hell that is located on the Duke campus and has a home team advantage of at least 20 points with the heat and the student body rocking the house).

Stephen F Austin player relieving a Dukie of the ball — the key to the game turned out to be ball control and turnovers. The Lumberjacks were adept at stealing the ball and physical play. Bravo!

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