Royal Brand Management

I note with interest the to-ing and fro-ing of the senior management of the House of Windsor in the United Kingdom.

One of the princelings (together with his recent progeny producer, Meghan Markle, and American; and progeny, Prince Archie) has decided to step back from the life royal and reposition his brand in North America — rumored to be either or both Canada and Los Angeles. He is also said to be dealing with a pesky male pattern baldness that runs in the family.

Eeegads, he’s even talking about taking a job, but he does want his Mommy to provide him a nice place to stay in London. Only fair, no? She has a lot of excess inventory. Still, living at Mom’s when you’re feathering in on 40?

His mother is a formidable woman of some note — Rule Brittania — who has worked her entire life to develop and enhance a unique brand. Really even before the entire “band” lexicon worked its way into the vernacular.

She, rightly, believes there is substantial equity in her brand and has expressed extreme displeasure as to the potential impact on her brand caused by the relocation and repositioning of her grandson’s brand. She says she didn’t know the kid even had a brand, but isn’t surprised since Meghan showed up on the scene.

She is also pissed that she heard about the kerfuffle on the Internet while checking several eBay auctions she was following.

In addition, she has recently lashed out at her idiot Prince child, Andrew, for bad behavior. She cancelled his birthday party — I wonder does he get to add a year or does she have that kind of Dorian Gray power?

In any event, the beef has gotten down to disputatious utterances as to the impact of the action on the Queen’s brand. This is not a subject to be taken lightly as she depends on the brand for housing, maintenance, and upkeep. She has her own Army and Navy who also have skin in the game. The last time the English Army and Navy picked a fight with people from North America, it didn’t end well.

Hers is a strong brand and one is tempted to suggest it will all blow over — like it did when her other idiot Prince son threw over his exquisite Princess for a former girlfriend — never let an old flame burn you. We shall see.

Liz’s consort (excuse my cheekiness, inexcusable), Prince Philip, has taken a back seat having personally stepped away from royal duties since he wacked a few cars with his own Range Rover. In his day, he was a swashbuckling sort. Love the sword and all the ribbons.

The Queen looks great and it is difficult not to make her the favorite in this matter, but we shall see.

In the meantime, here is a great lesson in the sanctity of brands. Take it to heart.