Repeal & Replace taxes, Big Red Car?

Big Red Car here on a spectacular Texas morning in May, the kind of day which fuels your passions and diminishes your troubles. On Earth as it is in Texas! Alternatively: Make America Texas Again? [Doing some A/B testing is the Big Red Car?]

So, the Republicans and their Trumpeteer were in the Rose Garden at the White House for a self-congratulatory orgy post the Repeal & Replace of Obamacare.

“Paulie Boy, you did it.” “Thank you, Mr. President. It’s a crappy plan, but it’s the best I could get these crazy Republicans to vote for. Nancy Pelosi said ‘HI.'”

Some, like me, will say it’s a tad premature what with those balky chaps over at the Senate. I have other complaints but they will wait. Today we talk Repeal & Replace TAXES.

Yes, dear reader, our “healthcare” monstrosity was really a tax bill in disguise and those clever Republicans smoked it out.

What taxes, Big Red Car?

You didn’t know Obamacare was really a tax bill? You didn’t know that. You’re so sweet when you act dumb.

Do not listen to the reactionary Big Red Car. Obamacare is not a tax bill. Sure there’s a few trillion of taxes, but they’re just redistributive. Trust me on this one. Eat your vegetables and shut up.

Well, dear reader, House Resolution 1628 (known to the cognoscenti as The American Health Care Act) cuts taxes by a trillion dollars over the immediate future. Let’s see which ones, shall we?

 1. Obamacare Individual Mandate Tax which hits 8 million Americans each year. Value is added to the Obamacare Employer Mandate Tax below.

 2. Obamacare Employer Mandate Tax. Together with repeal of the Individual Mandate Tax repeal this is a $270 billion tax cut.

 3. Obamacare’s Medicine Cabinet Tax which hits 20 million Americans with Health Savings Accounts and 30 million Americans with Flexible Spending Accounts. This is a $6 billion tax cut. It taxed HSAs and FSAs? WTF, Big Red Car?

 4. Obamacare’s Flexible Spending Account tax on 30 million Americans. This is a $20 billion tax cut. Got two taxes on those FSAs.

 5. Obamacare’s Chronic Care Tax on 10 million Americans with high out of pocket medical expenses. This is a $126 billion tax cut. You get really sick? They tax you.

 6. Obamacare’s HSA withdrawal tax. This is a $100 million tax cut. You take your money out of your HSA to pay some medical bills and your pals in DC tax you!

 7. Obamacare’s 10% excise tax on small businesses with indoor tanning services. This is a $600 million tax cut. Haha, they tax your look and the sun!

 8. Obamacare health insurance tax. This is a $145 billion tax cut. They make you have insurance and then they tack on a tax.

 9. Obamacare 3.8% surtax on investment income. This is a $172 billion tax cut.

 10. Obamacare medical device tax. This is a $20 billion tax cut. Need a new knee? Pay a tax.

 11. Obamacare tax on prescription medicine. This is a $28 billion tax cut. [The Boss buys his meds from The Canada Drug Center and pays 23% of US prices. You can do this.]

12. Obamacare tax on retiree prescription drug coverage. This is a $2 billion tax cut.

Repeal & Replace, two questions, dear readers?

Did you know Obamacare was a tax bill from the outset?

Did you have any idea how pervasive and extensive the taxes included in Obamacare are/were?

No, the answer is NO. You didn’t know because you didn’t investigate. But, there it is and now you know.

Would you trust these guys with your health? Hmmm. No prostate exams.

Y’all get on with your busy day and slay some dragons. The Big Red Car’s got your back and it’s a damn nice back.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Date night. Let’s do this right. Pro tip: GO GET A MOTHER’S CARD AND MOTHER’S DAY GIFT FOR YOUR MOTHER. Say a prayer for her.