Big Red Car here.  I’m sure that you’re tired of hearing the Big Red Car tell you how great things are here in the ATX. Nice warm sunny weather day after day in July.  Ahhh, on Earth as it is in Texas!

So The Boss is paying close attention the President’s new “economic offensive”.  It is easy to see why many folks find it to be offensive.  It is old wine in not very new bottles.

Let’s review the bidding here

Our biggest challenge is the sorry state of the economy and the yardstick that is often held up to it is the rate of inflation.  [The Big Red Car is tricking you, Old Sport, it is the rate of unemployment not inflation.  Are you reading closely?  Haha, Big Red Car is a tricky Big Red Car.]

The silly media are transfixed on U-3 (BLS – Bureau of Labor Statistics) which has now been above 7.5% for five years.  The real measure of unemployment and thus the health of the economy is U-6 which indicates that approximately one in every five Americans is out of work or underemployed.

It is being whispered to us that this is the “new norm” and we should just suck it up and deal with it.

The President has been focused on the job market “like a laser” except for the times he has been focused on Obamacare, raising taxes, cap and trade, DADT, climate control, women in combat, gay marriage, gun control and immigration — to mention just a few little distractions.  Other than Obamacare which has a real chance of wrecking the economy, the balance is either failed or inconsequential legislation.

Please note that we have not said anything about Iran, North Korea, Russia, China, the Arab Spring, Libya, Syria, Egypt or Israel.  More about those subjects a bit later.  Whew!

The President is “all campaign, all the time” and has never stopped running for office since the day he left the Senate.  Would someone please tell the President that the campaign is over and he won.  Now it is time to govern, please.  This has lead him to re-ignite his failed handling of the economy by launching into a “dialogue with the American people” yet again about the economy.   Yawn, stretch.  Really, Mr President?

The new ideas

Well, here’s the thing, ya’ll — EVEN THE PRESIDENT ADMITS HE HAS NO NEW IDEAS.  This is the same old tired campaign sloganeering repackaged into a series of……………………………………..wait for it……………………………….speeches!  Yeah, speeches!

The President has committed to six speeches over the next two months.  These teleprompter tornadoes will be given to the backdrop of adoring crowds who are likely available because they have no jobs to distract them.

Out of the gate, the President’s advisers — the Sunday morning talk show Illuminati — are quick to note that the speeches will “…not contain new proposals…”.  Instead, the Illuminati squeal — they are the same old proposals which have never gained any legislative traction repackaged and rebranded.  Oh, boy, new packaging.  Warm up the branding irons, ya’ll.

WTF, Big Red Car

The Big Red Car is a bit of a cynic.  The Big Red Car has seen enough over time and the last five years to suspect that the current focus on the economy and jobs — which is no different than the fatuous proposals in the President’s 2011 address to the Congress and his $447 billion Jobs Program which has never again seen the light of day — is just the latest attempt to distract the American people from the scandals piling up on the lawn in front of the White House.

WTF are you talking about, Big Red Car?  Aren’t those all “phony scandals”?

Well, no, Grasshopper, they are not.  There are four dead Americans from a place called Benghazi.  One of them is an American Ambassador.  To this moment, there has never been an adequate investigation or explanation as to what really happened.  But we do have four dead Americans.

There is the matter of the IRS which just keeps getting murkier and murkier.  Not only do you have an IRS Commissioner who apparently had 150+ sleepovers at the White House (none of which he can remember the specifics of) and an appointed General Counsel who was aware of things all along but now you have folks invoking their Fifth Amendment privilege to refrain from incriminating themselves.

You understand these folks work for you, Grasshopper, and they are indicating they may have committed a few crimes over at the IRS.

Hey, I thought this was all “a couple of dweebs from Cincinnati”, Big Red Car?  No? The administration told me it was a couple of “low level” dweebs from Cincinnati, Big Red Car.  I’m sure of that.

Well, Old Sport, that explanation is “no longer operative” which is how they say “damn, you got us on that one, haha” in Washington.  Just like the pissed off movie critics over there in Benghazi.

You have L’affaire Snowden and NSA in which apparently the NSA has been backing up your hard drive, reading your email, monitoring your social media presence, listening to your phone calls and scheming with the Digital Elite to review your private Internet information.

As the President said yesterday:  “Move along, nothing to see here.  All phony scandals.  Most transparent administration in history.  Move along.”

Sorry, Mr President, you got some ‘splaining to do here.

The Nobel Piece of Baloney Prize

The President was anointed with the Nobel Peace Prize shortly after he took office.  Congratulations, Mr President.

But wait a minute.

He took office in 20 January of 2009 and the nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize were closed on 1 February 2009.  If you will check the calendar for 2009, you will see that there were only 14 work days between the Inauguration and the nomination deadline.  During which the President so impressed the Norwegian Nobel Peace Prize Committee with his stance on “nuclear non-proliferation” that they awarded him the Nobel Peace Prize over the candidacy of more than 200 other nominees.

Huh?  WTF, Big Red Car?  That’s nuts.

Hey, I don’t mind the President getting a French kiss from the Norwegians.  The Big Red Car is an internationalist at his core but at least don’t believe it.  It’s all nonsense.

Well, it’s really nuts because this President has lorded over a number of wars and armed interventions that are generally thought of as the antithesis of peace, Old Sport.

We have had wars in Iraq (OK, Bush’s fault); Afghanistan (only partially Bush’s fault as Obama increased the force commitment); the freakin’ Arab Spring in which Twitter provided more effective leadership than the US; a bit of “leading from behind” in Libya, Syria and Egypt; that nasty little mess with Iran and the continuing North Korean saga.

Throw in a bit of destabilization in Pakistan (who have a nifty collection of nuclear weapons, offer a haven to the Taliban, are always fussing with India) and you have run the table.  You may also be surprised to learn that we have beaucoup Special Forces in Africa and Marines in Jordan.

This is not behavior of a Nobel Peace Prize laureate.  Sorry, ya’ll.

The lame in lame duck

The President, like all second term Presidents, struggles with the notion of remaining relevant as the Nation and the political class is already licking their chops over the 2014 mid-term elections which are only 16 months away.  Hooray!  Another election.

The Congress is totally ineffective — perhaps the best gift imaginable to the American people?  If I am not incorrect, I think that syphilis is polling better than the Congress right now.  Could be wrong, they might be tied.

This President, given a careful scrutiny of his record, has never really been relevant.  He has been arguably lame from the start.  A poseur, a naif, a fakir.  He does not have the integrity, life experience or skills to effectively lead.

So, please endure a few more speeches.  Old wine in old bottles.  Do not cut your fingers on the new packaging.  Pray for the continuing health of the TOTUS.  Clap politely.  Watch your wallet.

But, hey, what the Hell do I know anyway?  I’m just a Big Red Car.