I admire that you have the courage to feel the grief so deeply. It is part of the homage paid and the price of love. And brings a greater reward when time allows us to move past the pain. The memories sweeter, the gratitude deeper, life richer. In time. But for now the waves that come in varying degrees, sometimes unexpectedly.

Thank you for sharing this moving tribute. There is something truly glorious about a life well lived and we who read this are the richer for it. Thank you.

This is an overwhelmingly beautiful memorial. It is abundantly clear you are your father’s son.

Indeed. Sorry for your loss, Jeff. May your father rest in peace.

Having been deeply moved I am glad to be able to disagree with you on one issue.

One time when I have fought and finally won, is now happily (for me) a few years behind me.

I have a very fond memory of a man who watched a film together with his wife and son, about a man battling with cancer. After the titles went up my mum asked what was it about the film that had brought him to tears – his answer was that he simply felt “sympathy for people in his (those of the actor) shoes” . My mother reminded him that he had terminal cancer at the time, and he answered “Oh yes – sorry, I had forgotten”.
So I can say this hopefully with some understanding (and with genuine and I hope gentle sympathy):

You are not yet utterly defeated – but you simply and understandably feel that way.

That feeling becomes in hindsight your greatest privilege – those that feel no loss are far less happy for it – and to embrace your loss while you learn to use it as a support is absolutely no shame.

The man you knew also taught you how to pick yourself up after a loss, and you will. If I am any judge there will be people, at some stage down the line, who will feel the same about you, as you now feel about him. And they too will believe that they are utterly lost.

So in the next years you must inherit the mantel and press on in the same style that he managed and show them that it can be done – but take your time and gather your reserves – it is not a sprint.

I wish you and your family the very best and know that one day your days can look to others as perfect as the last 97 years now look to you.

Psalm 23 talks of leadership as comfort – the comfort in having a leader that went first – as it always has been and always should be.

The rod and staff represent both weaponry and the protective discipline of love – use them well.

You referred to them both beautifully above.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

JLM – that’s how it is and they will.

Finally, if you feel despair – reach out – there are many (myself included) who would be honoured to share a few words or experiences if they can help.

Clearly, you could have easily made this a much longer post with many wonderful stories. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Been there, done that. I lost both my parents, my wife, and my brother. You are not the Lone Ranger here.

From the smallest to the largest we know about, time doesn’t stand still, and mostly there are no do overs.

You seem to have all of it well figured out.

You had a great father, great mother, and an extra 30 years or so with your father alive; a lot of sons miss out on all three of those.

You have a lot of blessings to count and carry forward. You are still standing and quite strong. You have a lot and a lot to build on. Make each day count. It ain’t over yet!