Gravitas — US Foreign Policy Gravitas

Big Red Car here on an early Thursday morning. Hey, it’s Thursday and who doesn’t love Thursday? Let’s talk gravitas, shall we? [No, gravitas is not something you eat on a toasted bagel with capers and chopped onion. Sorry.]

So, the Trump administration has begun to engage with the Russians.

The first notable engagement was the launch of sixty Tomahawk cruise missiles to strike client state Syria. [The Trump admin launched SIXTY and only FIFTY-NINE made it to the target. Hey, Raytheon dudes, can we get a refund on the one that went swimming?]

Cruise missile launch 2

The Tomahawk cruise missile — when you care enough to send the very best. A thousand pounds of explosive love and gravitas.


When you cruise missile a sovereign country on the first date, that sends a certain message as to the seriousness of your intentions. No? Stuff is getting real and fast. Hang on.

Thugs, Russian Thugs

Russia is a little country (same size economy as Italy), but they are some major league thugs. If they did not possess nuclear weapons, they would cause as much trouble to the world as, well, Italy.

This is a country which invaded Georgia (not the SEC conference Dawgs, the other Georgia over by Russia), Afghanistan, and Crimea. Russia bluffed the Obama administration out of deploying a missile defense shield in Europe. Bluffed them like a big dog. [Barack told Vlad he’d have a lot more “flexibility” after the election.]

Why are the Russians such a bunch of shitheads, you ask?

Not serious foreign policy, no gravitas

The Russians are such thugs because nobody has checked them. Nobody meaning this guy, former President Barack “Red Line” Obama. This guy punished them by forbidding them access to Disney Land (was it Disney LAND or Disney WORLD? Sheesh. It wasn’t much, was it?).

Image: File photo of U.S. President Obama meeting with Russian President Putin in Los Cabos

Hey, listen, Barack. I took Crimea. WTF are you going to do about it? I don’t give a shit about whether I can go to Disney Land or not. You want another wedgie? Huh? I’ve got another one for you right here, pal.

President Putin used to steal President Obama’s lunch money on the international stage. He would also give him a wedgie.

Do you remember the giggly RE-SET BUTTON affair when our new, chic Secretary of State had all the fun with the Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov? [OK, I admit using the word “chic” in the same sentence with Hillary Clinton is a stretch, but go along with it, please. I promise not to do it again.]

Reset button

“Haha, you clowns. Reset this! We’re taking Crimea and you can stick your reset button where the sun don’t shine.” What a goofy stunt by a goofy Secretary of State.

When you beclown your foreign policy, thugs like Vladimir Putin will take advantage of you. He is a monster and we are trying to use a deodorant spray to make him smell better, when what he needs is the Tomahawk cruise missile. He understands that.

Gravitas, serious foreign policy

The foreign policy team of the Trump administration is not a bunch of giggly lightweights with reset buttons. They are serious Alpha Male guys who know which restroom to use and aren’t fooling around.

The President is a loud mouthed bully — in the nicest sense of the word, mind you. He is a guy who is not afraid to call bullshit on America’s enemies and he is prepared to lean forward in his saddle. He will not telegraph his punches and, yes, he will punch you. He took out 20% of Syria’s air force, a good step toward a no-fly zone by attrition.

In a single week, he goes from being Vladimir Putin’s best friend and confidant to a guy heading the US to a war with Russia because he is not carrying Vlad’s water. [You have to give the lefties high marks for being able to pivot on a dime and for flexibility.]

The Secretary of State was running Exxon Mobil a year ago and knows something about Russia.

The Secretary of Defense is a Marine four star guy named “Mad Dog.” Whoever has a Secretary of Defense [Big Red Car thinks it should be changed to the Secretary of OFFENSE, but that’s just me, y’all. Let’s call it the way we see it, no?] named Mad Dog is going to have a lot of freakin’ gravitas.

Test question — quick, who is the Russian Secretary of Defense equivalent? Is he called Mad Dog? See what I did there? Yeah.

So, there you have, dear readers. This guy

Trump smirking

OK, Vlad, little skeptical on all this Syria baloney. May have to send you a few more Tomahawks to get your thinking right. But, hey, I sent you the best. The Tomahawk cruise missile when you care enough to send the very best. Come on, Vlad.

is dealing with this crazy guy. [Pro tip: When guys take to strutting about with their nipples showing, you’re dealing with the thug life. Deal with it and deal with them — fiercely. They understand fierce.]

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin ri

Haha, I’m leaning forward in MY saddle, Big Red Car. I’m a little guy on a little horse having a good time screwing with the world. And check out my pert little nipples. I can etch glass with these babies. [Dream on, Vlad. This shit is just about over.]

Gravitas, Big Red Car?

OK, let’s review things. Here is the old regime.


Here is the enemy. Yes, just like Mitt Romney said, our greatest geopolitical foe is this guy.

Putin picture middle finger

This is our new guy.


You don’t need a caption cause you get it, right? This is a guy who brought something to the White House which has been missing for eight years — COJONES. Oh, yeah, gravitas. Don’t forget the gravitas.

This is our old guy, who likes to pal around with Communist dictators with band-aids on their hands.

Obama and Raul

My name is Raul Castro. My big brother, Fidel, was a Communist dictator running Cuba, half an hour from Key West, for a century. This clown, Barack “Red Line” Obama told us we can be friends and we get to do the same stuff we’ve been doing all along — oppressing our people and other stuff like that. Who is this clown?

So, there you have it, dear reader. Gravitas. Go long on gravitas.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. Celebrate the core of Christianity this Sunday. He is risen and we are saved!cropped-LTFD-illust_300.png

7 thoughts on “Gravitas — US Foreign Policy Gravitas

  1. One thing that everyone knows is that Trump knows how to win. He wins in business, as a television personality, as a father, and now in politics. With a Mad Dog as his Secretary of Offense, like you say, gravitas.

    Trump knows strategy, tactics and risk to reward. And to top that all off, he’s loyal to US interests (unlike some past feckless presidents) which is very gravitas-enhancing, no? He’s able to see the patterns in very complicated situations and structure himself to win (Love or hate him, that’s the reality. He has the trophys to prove it)

    And be sure that your cry room has fresh sheets should you lean into the main stream media and their polls/opinions.

    And you better be prepared to play should you call his bluff.

    Go ahead and launch Chubby. But I’m not so sure that the risk to reward is in your favor this time around.

  2. Great post as usual, BRC, “…serious Alpha Male guys who know which restroom to use and aren’t fooling around” made me chuckle.

    Also, in regards to the Russian reset: the button Mrs. Clinton presented Mr. Lavrov with erroneously had the word “overcharged” written on it, not “reset”.

    And since the introduction of that “reset” button, Russia went on to annex Crimea, helped foment unrest in eastern Ukraine, and challenged NATO member states with provocative military actions. Lets not forget the Russian Su-24 aircraft streaking by the guided-missile destroyer USS Ross in the Black Sea (the jet was roughly 1,600 feet from the side of U.S. Navy destroyer at an altitude of 600 feet).

  3. Trying to explain just why Trump sent the 50 Tomahawks just from the history of the White House for the past 8, 16, 24 years doesn’t work very well. And I don’t what to say that the explanation is to consider Reagan.

    Instead, my guess is that long ago in business Trump saw the need and ways to get needed “gravitas”, sense (culture, environment) of seriousness, end of “fuzzy-bunny play time,” any left over Spring Break attitudes, and other goofing off, attention, everyone fully awake and paying attention, basic discipline, etc.

    Pulling this understanding, technique, practice, etc. into the White House, Trump saw Assad violating the various treaties, norms, etc. on use of chemical weapons, killing babies, and in general, from the MSM, the Democrats, Paul Ryan, Russia, North Korea a lot of pissing in pants and spitting to windward, and decided to stop it.

    Maybe the situation is a little like in the military when a new leader takes over a unit, puts on a face of “gravitas” like Patton used, does an inspection, and reacts harshly to the first case of slacking off he sees. The result is that everyone understands that anyone can get chewed out or worse, just what is good enough is not so clear, and everyone better try their hardest on everything, small or large. Maybe the situation is the difference between the German military and the French military just before the German invasion of France in WWII — the French with the “world’s largest, best trained, best equipped army” got totally defeated in a few weeks. Or, the French just didn’t take enough time out from lunch with Beaujolais to see what Manstein saw — a great opportunity to attack with tanks and close air support through both Belgium and the Ardennes forest, encircle the French and British forces, force e.g., Dunkirk, take Paris, and have the French totally surrender.

    The situation is common enough to be in a Star Was movie:

    [Darth Vader steps out of his shuttle on the Death Star.]

    Moff Jerjerrod: Lord Vader. This is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence.

    Darth Vader: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I am here to put you back on schedule.

    Jerjerrod: I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast they can.

    Vader: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

    Jerjerrod: I tell you that this station will be operational as planned.

    Vader: The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

    Jerjerrod: But he asks the impossible! I need more men!

    Vader: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.

    Jerjerrod: [alarmed] The Emperor’s coming here?

    Vader: That is correct, Commander, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

    Jerjerrod: We shall double our efforts.

    Vader: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

    So, right, the Emperor had “gravitas”.

    So, now, the MSM, Chucky Schumer, the Democrats, Paul Ryan, illegal immigrants, the mayors of the US sanctuary cities, the Mexican drug cartels, the terrorists, Baghdadi and ISIS, Fat Boy in North Korea, Xu and the Chinese, Putin, and not just Assad, got the memo, the message, etc. The message is not that Trump will anything like what Bush 43 tried to do in the Mideast, is not that Trump has gone back on his campaign promises, and is not even that Trump is dedicated to saving all the babies in the world. Trump is still following his promise of America first, President of the US and not President of the World, etc.

    It’s not too far from something common enough in K-12: Say, on the first day of class in plane geometry, the class is noisy, talking about the football team, teasing the girls, showing lack of respect, etc. So, the teacher takes a yard stick and slaps it on the desk with a loud “crack!” and follows with an assertive “Quiet class!”. Some guy in the class who wants to be the leader of the goof offs and challenge the authority of the teacher keeps talking, and the teacher walks to them, stares, looks angry, and says,

    “Just what is it you don’t understand about ‘quiet”? One hour of detention and writing 500 times on the board ‘I will not talk in class.'”.

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