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Well, as they say — diamonds are a girl’s best friend and what girl can ever have too many friends?

BRC
http://www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com

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Hahaha. Nice.

While a nicely smoked unicorn is quite flavorful, one is always reminded to cut it into small pieces because as you say, one can choke on it. Chewy sometimes.

BRC
http://www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com

38. You will learn to truly hate the word “unicorn” and Whole Foods will start selling organic unicorn. It is delicious smoked.

I’ve hated this term almost instantly, hope Whole Foods chokes on if.

How about a house in Indonesia?

> 45. How did these dipshits get into college in the first place?

Federally backed student loans.

At least for humanities majors, college used to be the “elegant parenthesis”. Now it’s a Federally subsidized drunken orgy.

Three names we will be really eager to forget — Clinton, Bush, Obama.

Or what the hel were we or they thinking?

Change “less” to “more” or change “civilized” to “uncivilized”?

> Headlights.

Right, suspicions confirmed: Auto styling is rolling, steel, sculpture art with metaphors about humans.

Are these metaphors exact or precise? Nope. That there are such metaphors, is that just nonsense? Nope. Are the metaphors deliberate by the car companies or at least their stylists? At least one of those two, yup. Do the metaphors matter? Yup, IMHO they are a biggie part of selling a lot of cars.

So, right, headlights play the role of eyes. The grill, mouth. Some of the bulges, body builder muscles. Some of the rear fenders — hips of a face down woman or knees of a cat about ready to pounce. A Corvette with a top up? The top looks like a head, much more than for a four door family sedan. The split rear window Corvette? The line down the middle of the rear window, a teenage girl’s ponytail? Wheels? Legs. Wheels with nice wheel covers? Pretty legs and/or shoes. Exposed wheels with some extra ground clearance? Long legs. The old Chevy grill with something like an egg crate? Mouth of a teenage girl with nice teeth. The old hardtop convertible styling? Side view of a pretty teenage girl with her hair swept back. Grills can also look like a mouth ready to kiss, of a shark ready to feed, etc.

Is that all of the metaphors? Nope, not by a long shot. Exhaust pipes? Ah, remember the US Navy’s Tailhook scandal?

So, the dual headlights? Big mistake — looked too much like a face with four eyes. The current headlights? Bummer — look like snake eyes or nothing human or even mammalian at all. Some new grill that is some big black thing, maybe from Audi? Looks like a big mouth full of black, rotten teeth.

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The Big Red Car will.

BRC
http://www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com

Well played as usual. There is so much there, you could do a quarterly update!

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This is a family blog. Get a room, Blue Horseshoe.

Did I tell you about the hot little Mercedes convertible, around the corner, with the lovely headlights?

BRC
http://www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com