Big Red Car here. The Boss is back in the ATX after having been in Highlands, NC for a wedding. What a great time. He brought he cooler weather of the mountains with him.
The Boss got to talking about the recent conversation between the new Iranian President and our President.
Yo, Hassan, can you fit me in? Please. Pretty please.
You will recall that President Barack Obama and President Hassan Rouhani were both in New York for the recent annual United Nations meeting and they were like a couple of school girls whose Moms had arranged for them to meet and have a cup of coffee — sheesh. How adolescent is this?
So, the Iranian President could not quite fit our President — leader of the free world and all around great guy — into his busy schedule in New York. He was giving 14 interviews including a couple of bloggers but the Most Powerful Guy in the Freakin’ World — uhh, sorry, Mr President, can’t fit you in this time but maybe next time?
So our President calls him as he is scurrying for the airport headed back to Teheran. Hassan says: “Yo, Hussein, what’s on your mind?” They chat for about 5 minutes.
OMG, the first time that the President of the United States and the President of Iran have spoken since 1979. You will recall, Old Sport, that 1979 was when the Iranians invaded the US Embassy in Teheran and took the entire staff hostage for 444 days.
So, it has understandably been a bit touchy as to how they were going to strike up a conversation given past bad behavior.
Red lines and other problems
Of course, the Iranians are subject to one of President Obama’s now infamous RED LINES, like that Syrian RED LINE which has worked out so great. Now Syria wants the US to pay $1B — $1,000,000,000 — to destroy the Syrian chemical weapons. Whoa, how did we get stuck with the bill?
Anyway, President Obama has issued a fatwah — just kidding, our President did not issue a fatwah but he could have, right? — and a RED LINE about the Iranian nuclear enrichment program.
The Iranians, of course, are saying: “Weapons enrichment program? No, it’s all for peaceful purposes. Silly Americans. We are a peaceful people. Sure, we sometimes rape women to discipline families and sure we sometimes draw and quarter victims but we are peaceful folks. It’s all just for, uhh, a new nuclear power plant.”
Reviewing the facts
The concentration of U235 — which occurs naturally to the tune of 0.7% in uranium — is accomplished by the spinning of gaseous material at high RPMs to concentrate the U235 to specific grades.
1. U235 @ 4-5% concentration is for power plants.
2. U235 @ 20% concentration is for research reactors.
3. U235 @ 90% concentration is for weapons.
Herein lies the problem. The Iranians are way past 5% and are not stopping at 20%. Hmmm, I wonder if they might be considering developing weapons grade concentrations? Hmmm. Naah. Not that.
If the Iranians wanted to develop U235 for either power plants or research — they could just buy it on the open market. You cannot, however, buy 90% concentrated weapons grade fissionable material. Hmmmm. That makes me suspicious.
The phone call
Am I the only one who feels like our President over played his hand at the United Nations annual conference? The Iranian guy said — “Uhhh, sorry that just doesn’t work out for me. Sorry, Barack Hussein. Catch you next time?”
Our President, like the last kid picked for a basketball team, calls the guy and insists on speaking to him as he’s racing to the airport and headed back to Teheran.
Then our President announces it to the press. “Yep, we had a great five minute convo and we are new besties. Yeah, and my name is Barack Hussein Obama. I got this Iranian situation under control just like, uhhh, Syria. Yep, that’s the ticket.”
OK, so now the Big Red Car is a bit scared because the Syrian situation like Egypt, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan, Benghazi is SNAFU.
This feels like when your kids were in kindergarten and they proudly brought home their finger painted artwork and it had that gold star on it. “Mommie, the teacher says I have tons of art talent and I might end up like that guy Michael Angelo. Do you know him, Mom? Isn’t this great?”
You replied: “Yes, dear.” And your son became an accountant. A damn good accountant, mind you but an accountant nonetheless. This is what we call naivete. Sorry.
Naive and naivete are just the precursors to a full beclowning. We are well on our way to a beclowning here, Old Sport.