01/11/16

Big Red Car, Who Wins the National Championship?

Big Red Car here fielding questions like the one above. It is a burden knowing the stuff the Big Red Car knows.

Here it is, y’all.

The Tide rolls. The Tide rolls big time beating Clemson University like a rented mule. Rented mules everywhere say, “Yep. I can feel your pain.”

Tide rolls and wins by 21 points making it look surprisingly easy. Roll Tide!

Nick Saban smiles for 11 minutes and 14 seconds whereafter he starts recruiting for next year.

The University of Texas tries to hire him and he says, “If you rename Austin after me, I’ll consider it.”

The University Texas approaches the legislature who say, “No way!”

The City of Austin renames Lady Bird Johnson Lake —– wait on it —– “Nickie Bird Saban Lake” to which Nick Satan responds, “Not good enough.”

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Roll Tide!