Free Range Trump — On Earned Media

Big Red Car here, getting tired of all things election but wanting to note one very interesting thing that happened last night.

Sure, Trump won Michigan, Mississippi, and Hawaii — not that, y’all. That’s not the big story.

The freakin’ big cable news outlets allowed Donald Trump to go “Free Range Trump” on a 45-minute infomercial on Trump the Candidate, Trump Meat (not quite the same thing as Trump the Candidate but close), Trump Water, Trump Wild Wings, Trump Toothpaste, Trump Condoms (XXXXL available), and Trump Wines.

The media likes to laugh at Trump but what can you say when they empower him with 45 minutes of free air time? On three stations. How much is that air time worth at 9:00 PM EST? That’s prime time, y’all!

This is why Free Range Trump spends next to nothing to win these primary contests — the media is his bitch. They spend so much time talking Trump, so much time letting Free Range Trump run wild that you almost wonder if they’re not secretly under his control.

BTW, the 45 minute tirade was during Hillary Clinton’s victory lap over her own big win in Mississippi.

Free Range Trump got 45 minutes on three stations. Hillary got ZERO.

Face it, nobody knows WTF Trump is going to say and therefore his unpredictability is where the juice comes from.

Is this a great country or what?

Free Range Trump may not be your cup of tea but you have to admit that the son-of-a-bitch is entertaining in that NASCAR kind of way.

One guy who isn’t so happy this morning is old two faced Mitt, the Biggest Loser.

But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a free range Big Red Car. Be good to yourself and try some Trump Steaks. They’re the best!