06/10/19

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss?

Do you recall the famous scene in Casablanca when Sam sings “As Time Goes By?” It is sung best by Frank Sinatra.

The song starts with a line — “You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss,”

What spawned this thought was a picture of Mayor Pete kissing his husband, Chasten, at a campaign event.

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Before you criticize Mayor Pete for excessive PDA (public display of affection), you will want to remember the famous Al Gore – Tipper Gore kiss at the Democrat National Convention of some time ago. He did not win the presidency, but he left American politics with an iconic moment. Well, until they got divorced.

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Totally impromptu! Haha, right. Al and Tipper did not start the weaponization of political kissing, but they put an exclamation point on it.

President Reagan was a kisser also. Here he is after being sworn in as President. Have to give Nancy high marks both for form (eyes closed), head tilt, but also the hat that did not impede the kiss. Well played. Both actors, they hit their marks right on cue.

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Here’s the beef — Al Gore – Tipper Gore and Ronald Reagan – Nancy Reagan kissed on the lips.  Mayor Pete and Chasten Buttigieg kissed on the cheek.

Come on, fellas, the lips. If you’re in it to win it, you go for the lips. I have given you bi-partisan examples. The lips!

Then, Chasten (potential First Gent), has this to look forward to?

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Notice that the First Lady is careful to kiss Mr. T on the forehead. Because kissing on the lips is reserved for your spouse, you fool!

Kissing, making out, faux intimacy, bit of PDA, the weaponization of the lip lock — is part of electoral politics at the presidential level, no? Who can forget these crazy kids?

Don’t even say it. I know what you and your dirty mind are thinking. No.

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President Trump is a nose kisser and a bi-directional kisser. The nose knows. You would have expected something normal from the Disruptor-in-Chief?

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Here the President is clearly going for the cheek. Cheeky bastard!

The French, who supposedly invented a brand of kissing, often throw a head fake and go for the hand. Here is French PM Macron showing nice form. Like Joe Biden, he likes to get a good sniff in. Modestly creepy, but quite gallant!

First lady steps into spotlight for state visit with France

President Trump, showing PM Macron how the cow eats the cabbage when dealing with a sharp-edged hat, ducks under the brim to hit his target.

But, at the core of this is my complaint — Mayor Pete, Chasten Buttigieg — go for the lips, dudes. 

A kiss is just a kiss or is it? Is it a political statement? Is it the weaponization of affection?

“You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss” unless it’s a political kiss.

But, hey, what the Hell do I know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Come here, you lovely little Mercedes, let me give you a nice kiss!

05/30/19

The New Legal Concepts Post Mueller

Robert Swan Mueller III wrote a book. It was a longish book at 441 pages. Not War & Peace long, but still long enough that nobody has read it.

You have not read it. The talking heads have not read it. The Speaker of the House of the US House of Representatives admits she has not read it. It is the most unread book in America.

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You can buy an eBook ($1.99) or an audiobook on Amazon. Sales have been slow. The author is Robert S Mueller III, a Princeton undergrad and a Virginia Law grad.

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05/24/19

Tethered to Reality v Untethered

Of late, I am convinced that there are multiple parallel worlds in which we and others exist. These worlds being “parallel” never intersect. When they do, the laws of physics create sparks, sparks create fire, and the fire burns bright until it is extinguished by reality. In the end, reality trumps all.

Case in point is the relentless pursuit of President Donald J Trump by the Jabba the Hutt figure, Congressman Jerry Lewis Nadler, Chairman House Judiciary Committee.

Jerry, 71, has been a Congressman since 1992, that’s 27 years. Before that he was in the NY Assembly for 15 years. All told, he has been a politician for 42 years.

[Historical quirk — Jerry was elected Stuyvesant High School 1964-65 student government president wherein his campaign was managed by Dick Morris. Yes, that Dick Morris.]

Jerry sees himself as a tranformational figure in both life and politics. Here he is after his own substantial transformation. Bravo!

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04/9/19

Politics — Policy v Personality

We are in the beginning throes of the long dance to elect a President of the United States in November of 2020. Happens every four years. It has become a brutal ritual, an endurance test in which the entire range of human emotion is at play.

Today, we do not champion a candidate without also decrying the opposition. No revelation there. That is as old as the Republic.

Inasmuch as elections are binary (except for Ross Perot and Howard Schultz) it is not unusual for a prevailing candidate to be the beneficiary of a vote for the candidate, but, alternatively, also a vote against the opponent.

“I am voting for Madame X.”

“I am voting against Madame X’s opponent.”

Both of these votes show up in the final tally in the same manner. The successful candidate doesn’t really care.

We make these decisions — for or against — based on policy and personality.

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04/5/19

The Joe Biden Hit

Job Biden, God love him, is the target of a political hit. Here’s Mr. Touchy-Feely in action with some woman I don’t recognize. He is, apparently, licking her ear while she fends him off with her hands.

Going out on a limb here, but the woman seems to be enjoying it. Possible? Oh, wait, it’s Nancy Pelosi. My bad. Sorry.

Pelosi Defends Biden: I Don’t Think the Accusations Are Disqualifying

Joe Biden is guilty of the most unforgivable crime in the current Democrat party — he is a moderate.

For that crime, he has been subjected to the dirty tricks of the Dem party, a bunch who knows something about dirty tricks (talking to you Dirty  Dossier).

In spite of being “off message” as it relates to the New Green Deal, abortion until third grade, open borders, amnesty, sanctuary cities, abolishing ICE, free education, reparations, and other Democrat shibboleths, Joe Biden still polls higher than any other candidate seeking the Democrat presidential nomination. How can anybody so “unwoke” be so damn strong at the polls?

It is for this reason Uncle Joe must be humbled and marginalized because he has the temerity to stand firmly in the middle of the road in a party that has lurched to the left, the hard left.

Biden has near universal name recognition earned by decades in the Senate representing MBNA (He used to be called the Senator from MBNA) and eight years as Vice President. His image was amiable, gaffe-prone, goofy, and a bit blue collar. He rode Amtrak and drank a beer.

He was never thought of as a predator until the #MeToo movement erupted. #MeToo is about powerful men — check, Biden is and has been powerful — using their power to shoplift inappropriate intimacies, like Harvey Weinstein. Joe Biden never ever whiffed such abuse, but the #MeToo politically weaponized crowd wants to take him out as if he were banging White House interns (or sharing cigars with them).

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“No, thank you. I don’t smoke.”

The Dems — clever folks who are not beyond trashing anybody for a middle school birthday party prank — have gone all in on Joe’s behavior. Specifically, he stands accused of being an Irish raconteur who is prone to a kiss, a hug, a squeeze, a slap on the back, and a sniff of somebody’s hair. Clearly, these are predatory actions that should be punishable by…………………………………………………………..death.  Well, at least, the death of his political ambition, no?

Please ignore the fact that former Vice President Joe Biden is the only candidate who has been part of a winning presidential team or that he has served in the Senate since the Holy Ghost was a corporal or that he was Vice President to President Barack H Obama. None of that matters (well, it would if you were “hiring” a president).

No, Joe suffers from being Old School at a time when the Dems exalt ideas like the New Green Deal that have zero chance of ever becoming policy and want to control the White House up until the year in which the Earth is destroyed unless the NGD is enacted.

[Look, I am confused as to whether we have 12 years remaining or 10. I lived through Al Gore’s deadline, I counted polar bears, I measured arctic ice, but I am confused as to AOC’s and Beto’s deadline. Forgive me.]

Joe, on the other hand, has a sense of humor — something missing from the Millenial psyche which is focused on the angst of AOC, the skateboard skill of Robbie Francis O’Rourke, or the languages of Mayor Pete Boot-Edge-Edge. [See what your Big Red Car did for you — that’s how you pronounce the guy’s name.]

Image of Robbie O’Rourke explaining he is the Vanilla Ice version of Barack Obama. Ice, ice, baby — anybody want to go skateboarding?

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No, this thing with with Creepy Joe is just a hit. They don’t want to say, “Old white guy, get out the way for the Millenials” so they run this con about handsy Joe.

Biden is just an Old School Irish pol without an ounce of lust in his heart.

Still, the Dems take him out like a Mafia hit. Count on it. Joe will be humiliated and driven away with wailing and gnashing of teeth because he’s an old white dude. Sorry, Joe.

But, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Great weekend awaits you. Call your mothers or fathers. Please. It takes so desperately little to make your parents happy.

 

 

 

04/1/19

Mayor Pete

I have decided I will write about politics one day a week — maybe two, but definitely one — until the 2020 election. As you know, I predicted that Donald J Trump would win both the nomination and the election back in 2016.

Since his Inauguration, I have consistently held the position that I support some of his policies. I have previously described him as the political chemotherapy our nation needs. Chemo kills the bad cells before it kills the good cells. It is not really a compliment.

I only applaud policy, nothing else.

Chemotherapy Party Candidate? Trump

Today, I write about Mayor Pete Buttigieg (pronounced: “butt-edge-edge”) an exciting new Democrat candidate for his party’s nomination. Here is a picture of Mayor Pete threatening to poke Spartacus in the eye with his fingers.

“Booker, I’m going to stick these fingers in your eye!”

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03/25/19

Exclusive Robert Swan Mueller III Interview

Today, we have the great honor and high privilege of talking to Former FBI Director Robert Swan Mueller III after the delivery of his report to the Attorney General.

We caught up with Director Mueller at brunch after he went to church across Lafayette Park from the White House. Here he is trying to remember where he parked his car.

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03/14/19

Beto’s Dog Artemis Announces for First Dog

If y’all have been following the air waves, you know that Robert Francis O’Rourke of El Paso by God Texas has decided to throw his gimme cap into the ring and seek the presidency of the United States of America.

This is Beto’s “thoughtful” gaze. It projects that quality we want in our presidents — a vacuous stare with a finger over their lips telling them not to say anything stupid. Haha, just kidding. Love the guy. He’s from Texas. Yes, El Paso is part of Texas.

Here he is rehearsing his lines: “Man, I’m just born to be in it.” Pretty sure there were no copywriters involved with that bit of genius.

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But the real star, the real driver of the Tribe Beto is Artemis, a Labrador. We were able to grab Artie, a real bitch, for a quick interview. She did not hold anything back.

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03/10/19

Congresswoman AOC @ SXSW Interview

Big Red Car here in the ATX wherein we are in the midst of SXSW. [To be cool, please call it, “South By”, but you already knew this, right?]

So, yesterday, we had Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez speak for more than an hour during an interview. AOC! AOC! AOC!

I will not editorialize as to what I do or do not think about it because we are going to interview Her Highness in the raw.

If you want to listen to her comments, here they are in their entirety.

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